Dear Guy Dating Me,

I don’t think that my rules are that difficult to follow. Some might call them pretty easy, but here they are all layed out in crystal clear format for your viewing pleasure.

1) Respect me. Easy enough said. If you are rude, inconsiderate or a compulsive liar, then you can go away. Far away.

2) Make an effort. OK, I realise that guys just drift off into their own world of la la, but sometimes you need to come back to earth and let me know that you actually do think about me and care. Quick wins: emails, text messages, flowers (not roses), a call to say hello.

3) Don’t be jealous or possessive. We all know that I am the world’s largest flirt. I have tons of guy friends (and yes, some of them probably do want to get in my pants). But that doesn’t mean that anything is going on. There is no greater turn off than an insecure man blaming me for something I haven’t done (but just might do if you keep whining).

4) I don’t expect complete fidelity. This is something that I think we should all take a moment to think about. I am not saying to run out and cheat on me every chance you get, but at the same time I understand that everyone is human. Shit happens (as the bumper sticker says). And honestly, I don’t expect everyone to be perfect, even myself – save fidelity for marriage.

If you do cheat on me, do me the favour of never (I repeat, never) sharing your guilt with me. This is something that no one ever needs to be told by someone that they care about. Don’t tell me – I don’t want / need to know.

5) Give me some me time. I don’t want to be around you every waking second. I have a lot of friends and sometimes they are reserved only for me. I might will take off on trips and not invite you along, deal with it. At the same time, keep your own life as well and take time for you. In the end, it’ll make us both happier and add a little mystery to the mix.

6) You are officially banned from now and to forever from my girlfriends. That means that if we break up and you fancy one of them, you still aren’t allowed to go out with them. Note: this does not apply to me with your friends.

7) No drama and no games. No axes in doors, no drunken fights in a street over something stupid. I don’t want any of this. If you are feeling dramatic, go and watch a soap opera and leave me out of it.

8) Open doors for me. Simple and easy.

9) Be nice to Roley. You don’t have to love the dirty little bastard, but you have to at least pretend to get along with him.

10) Be cool and take it easy. If it isn’t fun anymore and we make each other miserable, then let’s call it quits without all the hassle of tears and blame. If there is a “soft-landing” there is a better chance that we’ll be friends forever. The most important thing is to have fun and a laugh!

Thank you,

P.S. Amendments to these rules can be made at any time by me (obviously).

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I find it quite interesting that following the devasting Hurrican Katrina and the giant cockup by the government to warn people in time that now they are really quick on the draw to evacuate people from Texas for Hurricane Rita. Way to go George W. I’m sure that this is just another great excuse for the President to get back to Texas and worry about his ranch and hittin’ the bottle.

So all those poor people that rushed to Texas seeking refuge are once again homeless. Here are some travel tips for a hurricane that might be useful if they weren’t so stupid. Example: Get water, get out of the way of the hurricane, don’t go out in the rain without your galoshes, don’t put your wet finger into an electrical socket, etc…


Getting out of dodge – the story

Here are some places that they might want to go to that are hurricane free:

  • California (except we don’t really like people from Texas)
  • Canada
  • Spain (except they don’t like Americans)
  • Russia (except they don’t like Americans)
  • Ireland (they like everyone!)
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    Yes, that is correct. You can now holiday in a fab destination and have your tits done all at once. In fact, there are several companies that specialise in these types of packages.

    Among our favourite destinations for lipo and relaxation are:

    Thailand – I have heard that they do fantastic sex reassignment surgery there – so why not have the experts pop some tits on you? Or even a penis is pretty cheap these days.

    China – I would feel particularly confident in the fact that this company is offering a 50% discount for summer travellers. Great deal! But you’ll have to hurry. The offer expires in September.

    Poland – Well. Do I really need to get into a Polish doctor joke? Do I?

    Just keep striving folks and you too can look like Donatella.


    Photo courtesy of Awful Plastic Surgery

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    100,000 seats starting at 10€ is not a bad idea. Book between the 18th and the 21st of September for travel during October, November and December.

    As Arlie likes to say… Fue una ganga! (It was a bargain!)


    Check it out now

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    VLM Airlines today celebrated their 4 millionth passenger of the year. Why am I sitting here thinking that the celebration was about as fun as watching paint dry? They awarded the poor guy with a bottle of champers and a free ticket to anywhere they fly from Liverpool. Sounds pretty depressing to me…

    But hey, it was probably the highlight of Mr. Mahon’s completely dull and sad life where he travels 8 times a week on VLM Airlines.


    VLM Airlines – For those cheap tickets to London City and further…

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    Since we are starting a new round up and review of the low cost airlines of Europe, we figured that we would start it out on a high note before butchering the rest of the “no frills” companies that sacrifice everything for profit margin and quick turnaround. So where to begin you ask???

    Vueling Airlines

    Background of Vueling
    Vueling Airlines is the new airline company headquartered in Barcelona. It was created with the objective of joining the city of Barcelona from point to point with major European capitals and the western Mediterranean.

    From Barcelona, Vueling Airlines offers air transport users a high quality product at the best price. Its operative organisation is based on the use of only one hub and a unique airplane model.

    Vueling Airlines is the best-funded new airline company in Europe. An initial investment totalling 30 million euros provided the company with the necessary resources for optimum development.

    Vueling Destinations
    Since they are based out of Spain, obviously the Spaniards benefit the most from these low cost flights.

    My Experience
    I first booked a Vueling flight a few months ago on their online site I felt that the online booking process was very easy and very user-friendly. The site is offered is several different languages which makes it easy for the inhabitants of their European destinations to book. These include Catal

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    British Food Fortnight is kicking off today in the United Kingdom. Yes, that is correct. Foodies can now eat to their heart’s content in jolly old England and not just the traditional fish n’ chips and Sunday roast. It seems that in the past several decades tastes have changed and more fresh produce and quality products are now the norm.

    So if you happen to be in the region, take part and EAT!

    Local British Cheese

    Some facts according to the BBC:

    Britain produces 700 regional cheeses – more than France
    It has 600 varieties of apple
    And 125 species of fish and shellfish in its waters

    By | Food Eater, Travel | No Comments