I have been working to fix the site for all of you super designer friendly Mac folks that read nerdgirl. I have put in a rather lame script that should detect your Safari browsers and redirect you to a beautiful new layout. It is not quite optimised yet, so please let me know what issues you have so I can attempt to fix them this weekend.

So don’t any of you Mac snobs ever say that I am a snob. I did this just for you! Steve Jobs would be proud…

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Working on slowly moving all of my images to Flickr and came across this image. Gave me a little giggle…

Bonita and I were in Cannes
for the film festival a few years back and staying at a hotel on la croisette. Next to the lift they had this sign that clearly depicts an elevator with people in it and the word Fantastique underneath.

We took this to mean that Fantastique = Elevator in French.

We went to another hotel and attempted to practise our outstanding command of the French language by asking where the “fantastique” is.

We were met by blank stares.

Stupid hotel named all of their elevators different french words…

Stupid us for not recognising that we were being taken for a ride…

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Please bring back Arrested Development…please please please…we miss Franklin.

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Do you ever have one of those days when you have done something terribly terribly stupid and you feel like you should win the prize for the world’s biggest jackass? I am having one of those days right now. We’ll just leave it at that.

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I haven’t officially (or unofficially for that matter) celebrated 4th of July for many years. Geez, how unpatriotic of me! How can I NOT celebrate the day of liberation for my homeland? Why not dress up in my red, white and blues?

I have many reasons for despising public holidays such as 4th of July, New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, etc… but I do have specific reasons for choosing to forgo my 4th’s celebrations…

They start with the fact that in the States it seems that the 4th of July gives every idiot, non-partier the license to ill. Yipee! Don a tank top, buy a shitload of Keystone Ice, fire up the boat and get tanked. Oh and buy tons of fireworks and start firing them at least 5 days BEFORE the 4th of July.

You might be wondering why I am so annoyed at the 4th of July – especially given the fact that I haven’t lived in the US for the last 6 years to even notice that it has come and gone…

Well – every country has its own version of the 4th of July. And every country is filled with the same amount of dumbasses (and fireworks) that remind me just enough of the 4th of July to make me cringe at the very thought of them.

Take Spain for example. In Spain you have Sant Juan day. You make sure that you buy at least a stick of dynamite (petardos) for every day in the month before the date and then light it in the streets. On the day of San Juan you get to throw firecrackers at people and moving vehicles, in addition to shooting off bottle rockets to insure that you burn down your neighbours rooftop. All of this is extremely fun, trust me. Especially if you like being waken up repeatedly every night by jackass teenagers in the streets blowing things up.

In the UK you have Guy Fawkes day and the same amount of shenanigans take place. The drunks. The fireworks.

And my reasons continue from there. Mainly having to do with scars of 4th of July’s past. The overcrowding, the driving, the over-Americanisms, hot dogs, being left in Bass Lake with no money or way to get home…

So this year, yet again, I will celebrate 4th of July minus the fanfare, fireworks and public holiday off. I wish all of you Americans a great day off and a 5th of July sans a Keystone Ice hangover.

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day 1

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a few months old

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a few years old

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kindergarden

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2nd grade

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3rd grade

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4th grade

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5th grade

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8th grade

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21 years old

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25 years old

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29 years old

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30 years old – clearly not any wiser…

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Another day, another geeky gadget. I sold my Pioneer DJM500 and one of my Technics 1200s on eBay last week. And what am I going to do with my newfound fortune? Take a trip to Thailand? Invest in more losing lottery tickets? Hell no. If you know one thing about me it is that I will need to replace it with something equally as nerdy.

Everyone welcome the Numark iDJ2. Coming soon to a flat near me…(July 27th to be precise)

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idj2

The iDJ2 features a fresh and innovative new iPod docking system that allows users to play two songs simultaneously from a single iPod, without the need of a computer. Users can also hook up multiple mass storage devices including additional iPod’s™, Memory Sticks™, and external USB hard drives through rear panel USB ports. In addition to USB connectivity, the iDJ2 comes complete with line inputs for any audio source including a microphone, CD players and turntables. Anyone can easily manage a music library using the iDJ2’s new, highly intuitive graphic interface. The oversized LCD screen offers waveform display and visual track-profiling. The iDJ² allows DJs to record their musical performances to the iPod or any connected drive, in addition to full control audio play back.

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It is boiling hot in London right now. Stiffling heat really. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about it. I lived through the crap winter just to get to this point. But now I am sitting in my living room trying not to move too much in a languid daze thinking of ways to beat the heat.

I have a few tricks that I use when the summer months kick in and there is no air con to keep me cool. Figured I’d share them here…

1) Don’t own a hairless cat whose skin temperature reaches to what feels like 130 degrees. Particularly one that seems to pay no attention to the heat and insists upon sitting next to you and sharing his warmth.

2) Buy a gigantic rotating fan. Set it on stationary on level 3 pointed right at your head.

3) Wet a towel with cold water and lay it over your hotter bits. It is like heaven when the fan hits you (which it should be if you have done step 2 correctly).

4) Buy some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream sandwiches from the corner shop and enjoy.

5) Take naps frequently.

6) Make a giant jug of Pimms using all the ice in the freezer. Sit back and enjoy.

To get you started:

Stephanie’s Ultimate Pimms Recipe

1 bottle of Pimms
1 bottle of Sainsbury Lemonade
4 shots of vodka
1 orange
1 cucumber
1 lemon
1 box of British strawberries
Package of mint
1 giant bag of ice

Mix everything together in a stolen jug from the pub downstairs. Pour into thick purple glass and drink. Feel the refreshment!

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OMG – this takes me back to the days of high school when everyone would drink 40s of Cisco and then end up in the hospital having their stomachs pumped…

Cisco Fan Club

So many ways to express the love of Cisco – so little time! Peach…Green Apple…Strawberry…Red…all these amazing choices! Who’s up for getting fiesty!?

“Known as “liquid crack,” for its reputation for wreaking more mental havoc than the cheapest tequila. Something in this syrupy hooch seems to have a synapse-blasting effect not unlike low-grade cocaine. The label insists that the ingredients are merely “citrus wine & grape wine with artificial flavor & artificial color,” but anyone who has tried it knows better. Tales of Cisco-induced semi-psychotic fits are common. Often, people on a Cisco binge end up curled into a fetal ball, shuddering and muttering paranoid rants. Nudity and violence may well be involved too. Turned into the bugaboo of the booze industry, today once-ubiquitous Cisco is almost impossible to find anywhere outside cracked-sidewalk slums. Ironically, this makes it more alluring to wastoids.
In 1991, Cisco’s tendency to cause a temporary form of inebriated insanity led the Federal Trade Commission to require its bottlers to print a warning on the label: [THIS IS NOT A WINE COOLER. 8 SERVINGS.] The FTC also forced them to drop their marketing slogan, “Takes You by Surprise,” even though it was entirely accurate. ”

– from Article entitled “Mean old Cisco” in Willamette Week by John Graham
April 5, 2000

http://tribes.tribe.net/ciscolovers

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