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These are my issues for this Monday…

  • First off – it is fucking freezing ass cold here. I am sitting at my desk not being able to feel my feet.
  • I just tried to eat a sandwich for lunch which consisted of about 90% mayo and 10% slimey chicken. I failed.
  • I went on a self-inflicted communication hiatus for the entire weekend.
  • I can’t make up my mind to go to Barcelona or NYC this weekend. Funny thing is that the NYC trip is cheaper than the BCN flight – ON SLEEZY JET. Is someone playing April Fool’s jokes on my ass?
  • My boss would kill me for ending bullet points in this email with periods. But fuck him.
  • I have been working on the same Powerpoint presentation for 3-4 days now and decided I have taken it way too far when I tried to embed a midi file of Eye of the Tiger to demonstrate a point.
  • I have decided that Blackberry Messenger is the devil because you can actually see when people have read your messages or not – thereby making me a stalker of sorts.
  • I have also discovered that .25mg of Xanax can go a long way. It is sort of like smoking pot, but I don’t like smoking pot and I do like Xanax.
  • Despite my habitual xanax usage over the past weekend, during my communication hiatus, I have still managed to chew all my fingernails off – which is usually a sign of anxiety with me.
  • I can’t believe that I got a message from Greg saying XXX is gone from his flat which leads me to believe that he is probably in a poorer state than myself. The words “Why don’t you go back to Paris?!?” are ringing in my ears from across the pond.
  • Bonita has been strangely absent from Blackberry messenger in the past few days which leads me to believe that she has a) found her father’s prescription pad and discovered the joys of xanax for herself b) found some random boy to fall in love with c) been dragged off my baby-eating dingos into the wilderness only to be discovered and reared by aborigines d) found a multi-coloured ball of yarn that was really tangled and has spent at least a week untangling it thereby leaving her fingers too busy to type e) had her Blackberry stolen by those damned phone stealing fairies that seem to haunt her no matter which continent she may be visiting… YOU DECIDE!
  • How many Youtube videos can one girl get through in an 8 hour time period? Seriously…

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