I was recently going to meet someone for a drink for the first time. We were chatting on text. Somehow it ended up in a conversation about walking vs. driving. I explained to this person that it was really difficult and painful for me to walk distances because of my spinal cord issues. He continued on his self-righteous path about how getting rid of his car three years ago was “the best thing I ever did in my life”.
At this point, I was getting a bit sick of this line of conversation. I don’t care if you don’t want a car. I don’t care if you want to walk everywhere. But I do care when you are basically pushing your shit on me. So… the conversation went something like this (after I said that I am a Cali girl and we drive):
Well I left it at that, but found myself fuming about the entire episode. I finally came to the conclusion that the real reason that I was so pissed was because I had already talked about a subject that is very difficult to talk about to strangers (my legs) and to have someone throw that back in my face and be so uppity about walking everywhere made me feel like I was somehow broken.
So I wrote a response that I didn’t bother to send, but I will post here because it made me feel better.
My Non Sent Response
You want to know what is a dealbreaker for me? People that act all self-righteous and judgmental about stupid shit. When that happens I tend to take the completely opposite stance because I find it so irritating; i.e., the hating public transport.
Also a dealbreaker? People lacking in empathy or self-awareness. I’m happy that you can walk everywhere you go. Some of us aren’t that lucky. I suppose you don’t know what it is like to feel pain in every step you take or what it is feels like when you have nerve damage from the waist down that makes it feel like you are carrying 50b weights on your legs. Let me tell you. It is exhausting, but I wake up every day and deal with it in the best way that I can. So if I have the choice between driving and saving my energy or walking to the muni station and down flights of stairs and up non-functioning escalators to be accosted by smelly, vagrants … I choose to drive.
Sorry that is a dealbreaker, but maybe next time you get all self-righteous about people who drive or dislike public transport (who fucking cares anyway and no one really loves public transport), just be thankful that your legs work and shut your mouth about it.