Since I am coming clean of my love of really bad, train wreck television I guess I should talk about my addiction to Intervention on A&E. It is awful. But I really like it. If you watch enough of it, you can pretty much see a pattern of how you can prevent fucking up your children.
You need to follow these simple rules to insure that you will not find your children featured on Intervention for crack smoking, computer air huffing, self-mutalation, alcoholism, an eating disorder or a combination of all the above.
1) Don’t let the 80 year old man neighbour babysit them – thereby molesting them
2) Don’t get a divorce
3) Don’t let your husband beat them or you
4) Don’t ignore them or not tell them you love them
It’s pretty simple, really. Mostly the women are screwed up by rape / molestation combined with being abandoned by Daddy and the guys are screwed up by being beaten by Daddy. The only off pattern things are usually reserved for meth-heads or heroin addicts who are simply stupid people with no excuse.
My favourite thusfar was computer cleaner huffing Allison. I found her particularly frightening with all the daddy issues that one could possibly stomach.