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As if I couldn’t love my damned Blackberry anymore. It is like my baby. I keep it neatly encased in its nice handmade leather Piel Frama case. I gently wipe its face with its own chamois. I charge it faithfully every night.

Then I just saw a report of a new Pearl coming out. Until now I haven’t been tempted. Not by the shiny, slick 8800 with its GPS. Not even by the Curve with its promise of a 2MP camera and clear screen. Nope. I was a one Blackberry Pearl kind of a girl.

But that was before I saw that there is a Blackberry Pearl 2 coming out.

Oh gawd. Don’t do this to me.

  • Externally accessible microSD – bah, this wouldn’t make me cheat
  • 3.5 mm headset jack – mmnn, might sound nice with my new Shures
  • 2 MP camera – uh oh, I am starting to drool on my keyboard
  • 6x brighter camera flash – you mean I can take even more jackass photos in bars late at night?
  • Dual-port speakerphone – everyone hates when I check my VM on speaker, I love it
  • Spell cheker – see, if I had it I could spell correctly!
  • Improved mic wind protection – for those blustery days in this fake ass London summer
  • New battery door latch – Fuck yeah! Since I bought my Pearl used, the damned battery door latch was broken. Damn you, seller, who failed to mention that in his Gumtree posting!
  • Improved lanyard design – WTF? Wait, lanyard as in those plastic friendship bracelets that I used to make in grade school?
  • New firm keypad technology – not sure what that is either, but it sounds like it will synergize my world and leverage my wellbeing
  • Improved SIM card holder – would be better if it had a built-in beer holder

    AND ONTO THE SUPER EXCITING BITS

  • Wifi 802.11bg – that’s right BIATCHES. Wifi. Bring it ON!
  • GPS – start the stalking now…fire up your Google maps and I’m gonna find yo ass!
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    Thanks Boy Genius!

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