ode to hotels

I’ve been all over this great big world and I’ve seen a lot of things. Almost sounds like a song (probably is partially plagerised by something). Anyways. What I wanted to talk about today was my love of hotels. Since I am sitting in a hotel I figured I have good cause to talk about this.

Why do I love hotels so much?

1) Crisp clean sheets
2) Big beds and extra pillows
3) Blackout curtains
4) Bathrobes and slippers
5) Room service
6) Someone picks up my disasterous mess every day
7) There is a fridge with water in it
8) Pay per view (only if there is something good on)
9) The bar
10) The little thing that you put your suitcase on – what the hell is that called?

Of course, when I profess my love of hotels, don’t be fooled. I am clearly not talking about some fleabag Motel 6 or even 3 star hotels. I have my hotel standards. I like to roll pretty posh when I stay away from the comfort of my own home.

Also, there have been times in my life where I have lived in hotels for extended periods. There was No. 5 Maddox Street in London where I resided for 3 months, the Abba Saints hotel in Barcelona where I stayed for another 3 months and then the Merchant House hotel in Tallinn where I stayed for 2 1/2 months (plus visit at least once a month still). Geez, it is scary to think that at least over an entire year of my last 6 has been spent in a hotel…

And if you try to stick me in some regular old business class hotel? Me not happy. There is nothing worse than a chain hotel with a bar full of travelling business guys who smell like cheap hotel soap (yes, I can smell this).

Some of my fav hotels:
St. Regis – Shanghai (the best sleep I have ever had after a long haul flight, blackout curtains galore)
Hotel Monaco – San Francisco (for you Ian Schrager bar fans, you can still nip across the street for a cocktail at Asia de Cuba)
Tribeca Grand – NYC (come on, you know you love the little goldfish!)
Blakes – Amsterdam (although I am convinced it is haunted)
Ripa Hotel – Rome (great club downstairs)
Mondrian – LA (Sky bar and Britney shaves her legs in the pool)
Peninsula Palace – Beijing (plasmas and televsions in the toilet with Chanel shopping downstairs)
Mosaic – Beverly Hills (huge comfy beds and great pool in the back, perfect for recovering from plastic surgery)
Hotel Axel – Barcelona (ok, this is a gay hotel, but it was funny as hell to stay at and quite nice)
Merchants House – Tallinn (best staff and great rooms)
Ocean Drive – Ibiza (if you don’t have the villa going, you might as well stay here. Get your brunch on cause its fantastic)
Hotel Amigo – Brussels (great rooms, great locations, beds super comfy)
Delano – Miami (typical Miami BS, but whatcha gonna do? at least you don’t have to roll home very far)

And what tops my list of all time most-hated hotels?

The Noga Hilton – Cannes (what a god awful hotel this one is – it is like a really bad throwback to the 70s, ugh)