can’t get no sleep

In the past two flats (not counting my temporary stay at Arlie’s old flat) I have had bedrooms that are strategically placed next to very busy streets. This was something that I didn’t take into consideration when I was moving into my flat in Barcelona and I ended up paying for it by having the loudest room ever. Or so I had thought. That is until I moved into our new flat in London in April.

Yes, my room sits right on Westbourne Park Road near the corner. And I get to have the fantastic #7 bus run right under my window – 24 hours a day. This is a great service if I need to get from the West End to my house at any time cheaply, but when I want to sleep all I can think is that I hate the #7 night bus. And every other car that decides to drive past my house at night, of which there are many. Not even going to get into the ambulance and police sirens…

At first I thought that I could deal with the noise by using my old tricks from Spain. Earplugs.

However, sleeping with earplugs is a bit of a hassle because most of the time they fall our of your ears at some point in the night and then you are woken up by noise and have to try to find them in your bed. This isn’t very easy for me since I also sleep with an eye mask on because somehow in my old age I have become extremely light sensitive. I look like Mariah freaking Carrey when I sleep with all my diva gear on. After you add Roley and his hot little body that insists on sleeping next to me into this mix, well, you have pure chaos.

I don’t sleep very well is what I am trying to say.

I wake up every morning groaning and holding the pillow over my ears wanting to cry.

I’ve had enough.

Then yesterday I stumbled onto something called a noise conditioner or white noise machine. Sounds nice right? But what the hell does that do?

White Noise Machines were so termed because they contain all the audible frequencies of sound, similar to how white light contains the visible frequencies or colors of light. The sound frequencies or pitches contained in white sound are played at the same volume which sounds like a “hiss.” The closest sound in nature is the sound of a large waterfall such as Niagara Falls because you hear a very broad range of sound frequencies.

Researchers have noted that while white noise doesn’t block out outside sounds, it desensitizes people to all other outside sounds so that you are not bothered by them anymore. White noise is therefore very useful to help people sleep who are otherwise disturbed by intrusive sounds from neighbors or street noise. It is also useful in busy offices or homes to help one focus. Parents find it useful to help their young children sleep soundly during daytime naps or at night.


OK – the scientific principle of this sounds valid to me. I read a few online reviews and decided that it sounds like the answer to my prayers. And I ordered one (on eBay of course). It is being shipped out in a few days and I hope to hell that this thing works otherwise I might go and sleep at the office on one of the nice sofas.

Add that to my list of useless crap that I buy…