To my family,
I don’t get to travel home that often. I am not sure if that is a completely true statement. I guess that statement should be interpreted in several ways. Partially I don’t want to travel home that often because in some ways it seems like a waste of holiday time to spend my days in Fresno and partially because I really don’t feel like I get that much holiday time.
Nevertheless, that doesn’t make up for the fact that I don’t get to see my family that often.
My family – consisting these days of you – Bob, Mommy, Graham, Valarie, Grandma Yamakawa, Uncle Kenny, Elaine, Hatsumi and even the Justesens and Delarios.
And it might seem to some that I have rather selfish reasons for not going home which are, in my eyes, completely understandable. I honestly hate (did I say hate?) going to Fresno to do anything. It is like a big void of life and I don’t really want to spend the precious few days that I have off watching glorified cable TV and sleeping in my old bed. I do, however, love when old Mama Fujie whips up one of her fresh deli sandwiches and treats me like her little baby again (however shortlived this is).
Despite my huge hatred for the hometown, I still end up missing you, my family, tremendously. I have been 6 (yes, count them 6) years gone from California on this adventure through Europe. I have had an amazing time and I regret nothing that has happened and have enjoyed, throughly, every waking moment.
With that said, it doesn’t discount from the fact that the people that have played a key in my upbringing and main factors to the person that I have become are left back on the mainland. And I never see you and rarely get a chance to speak to you.
And, honestly, it makes me sad.
Yes, I speak to Bob and Mom nearly every day in chat. But I hardly ever hear from Graham and Val apart from a vague email every other month or so. And Grandma Yamakawa, well, that is just slipping in to the abyss of mind and I don’t know if she notices otherwise.
I’m not really sure if this is a part of growing older or what… I still feel as close to my brother as when we used to have rooms next to each to other and he told me that I was his best friend. I think he will always be my best friend, despite us not talking for ages just because we have an understanding of each other that goes beyond speaking and time. But at the same time, I miss the boy…
So I guess what I’m trying to say – is that I miss you – my family. And I think about you constantly. There are things that people have to do in their lives and me being gone is one of them, but I’m pretty sure you understand this (otherwise you aren’t a true Robesky – friend or family).
I hope that at some point some of you will get off your butts and come and see my in London.