my garbage

Ahh. The joys of living above a semi-rough pub in England…

First off, we get to have all kinds of fun looking people hanging around our house drinking pints and pints of lager.

Secondly, it is great during the summer months when aforementioned patrons decide that their bladders can not hold anymore lager and they decide to piss on my front door.

And last, but not least by any stretch of the imagination, is the fact that the pub’s garbage bins are conveniently placed right in front of our door. Oh what a joy this is. It also leads me to believe that most people are complete and total morons. Their hearts seem to be in the right place, however their brains are lacking any concept of how a garbage bin actually functions…

What do I mean by this?

1) Take trash
2) Open bin
3) Stick trash in bin

This is a pretty simple process that seems to be missed by about 95% of the pub’s employees and customers.

They seem to think that if you throw the rubbish next to the bin it somehow, magically, finds its way into the bin.

Sadly this is not the case.

And I am left with a giant, piss smelling mess to step out into the fresh morning air to (and I haven’t even mentioned the time that I stepped on a nail when leaving the house).


The punchline to this entire tale is that we were phoned by our landlord last week about the garbage. Turns out that the pub has complained that we throw our garbage on the ground…


I’m not sure if I am going crazy, but as far as I remember I don’t have flyers to an event named London Calling that is hosted at the Elgin Pub that I decided to throw in front of the house. Perhaps I just forgot because I was lightheaded from the urine fumes rising from the front door…