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The trip got off to a not so great beginning.

Issue #1: Roley was booked into a cattery in Essex. The cattery was not answering my phone calls and emails about delivering the little booger so I had to switch at the last minute. I ended up driving the dorko across London, draped in his fetish white latex with pink lining cape and dropping him off at a cattery. This wouldn’t be so bad except I nearly cried when I got there. The cat runs were outside and it is freezing in London. I had a long chat with the lady who was caring for him and decided that he would be ok after we put in a blanket and a heating pad and closed off his little cubby hole (he also has a place to run around that is quite spacious). He seemed happy enough – despite the other cats making fun of his super gay cape…

Issue #2: I was due to depart on Wednesday morning. We (Ornella and I) had rented a cute little flat in Miami from a company called Miami Lodge (www.miamilodge.com). I had paid them the deposit on my card and the other half over a month ago through a wire transfer from my account in London. I had been emailing them for the past several days, yet had heard nothing back. I started to get antsy, so I phoned them. I reached the lady and she informed me that they hadn’t received anything and I would have to pay them yet again until they got the wire transfer. Obviously I was not pleased. This resulted in several flaming bile emails threatening to track down the wire transfer and shove it up someones ass.

I decided to let it go and let God (j/k always wanted to say something super mid-western like that). I decided to tap into my super zen like nature and go to sleep. I packed and crawled into bed still looking forward to my holiday.

Issue #3: I wake up early – at 6 AM. Sorta like when you were a kid and couldn’t sleep the night before you got to go to Disneyland for the first time. Then I picked up my phone to check the time (because I don’t have an alarm clock) and saw that I had a missed call and a message. Hmm…

Checked aforementioned message. Not a nice one.

Stephanie, it’s Ornella. They won’t let me on the fucking flight. I’m not coming to Miami. Call me back.

Yes, that is correct. Ornella couldn’t get on her flight. Turns out that her passport was not a machine readable passport and Alitalia refused to let her board. This is all despite the fact that several weeks before she had gone to a passport agency and they had renewed her lame passport for another 5 years.

So this wasn’t looking very good. My cat is freezing, the flat isn’t paid for and they are trying to blackmail me for more money, and my travelling companion / Miami partner in crime can’t get on the flight. SHIT!!!

I was beginning to wonder whether I should bother going at this point. What other surprises would be in store for me next? Would I get stuck in traffic and miss the flight? Would the plane crash? Would I get stuck in an overflowing toilet? Or even worse – would the in-flight entertainment NOT WORK?

Stay tuned to find out what happened next…

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