Seriously – this commercial makes me have the chills and it nearly brings tears to my eyes. It reminds me of beautiful sunny days in San Francisco. Absolutely amazing. Anyone who has lived in the City and left it would feel a little nostalgic…

It is way better when you are in a theater with it in full screen to fully appreciate it, but this will have to do for now.

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It reminds me of my childhood. I am having trouble trying to figure out which is my favourite character is…I think that it has to be Gonzo. Leave it to me to like the weirdo the most.

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Every morning I walk down to the Westbourne Park tube to begin my detested journey of public transportation (PT). Along the way there is a little newsstand where free copies of the tube newspaper – the Metro – sit waiting for me. And I refuse to pick it up. At least most days I refuse to pick it up. Because let’s be honest about the fact that I am not very consistent about most of my lame beliefs or opinions (ie, how I used to loath Uggs and swear I’d never wear them and now you can’t pry them off my feet).

So, why dont’ I pick it up? What superstitious belief keeps me from taking a free rag? Why don’t I want to be entertained on the boring tube?

Why? Because the Metro is the newpaper equivalent of toilet paper. And I’m not even referring to Charmin (or Andrex).

It reminds me of a quote from the movie Billy Madison (which is also the film equivalent to loo roll):

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Yes, the Metro actually makes you stupider. Really. It is a proven fact.

In fact, most of the news that people read in the United Kingdom is probably even worse. I have never seen a culture more caught up in the drugged out life of Pete Doherty and Kate Moss, than, well… my own culture.

But what is the difference? What is the point here?

Americans are fed (through a straw) our tabloid infested shite. We are given regular doses of this junk on television. The serious people read the news. The newspapers are serious.

And here? Well, the television news is serious. The BBC is serious. There are serious documentaries and discussion shows on during primetime on BBC1 and the other primetime stations.

I find it odd. Brits like to say – geez, your American news is such Hollywood crap (with a condescending air about them). Well, I just want to say in our defense – British mainstream newspapers are CRAP!

(but at least they know HOW to read…damn, they have us on that one)

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Missed connections in San Francisco’s Craiglist has an almost cult status. I used to read it regularly as did most of my SF friends. It was just something that you did.

So what are missed connections? They are just that. Connections that you have somehow missed. It has a rather romantic air to it. You get postings talking about the girl on the bus, the person at the party that you talked to, but then your friends dragged you off, etc…

We all used to read missed connections on a near daily basis. Why? Did we half expect that some stranger would take our fancy and be so desperate in their immediate attraction to us to post their love online?

Not really. Or perhaps in some secret, deep-down place.

Maybe we read it because it showed us that the City, which on the surface was filled with sarcastic and bitter people, might somehow really be home to tragically romantic people not so unlike ourselves.

Or maybe we just read it for gems like:

oops wrong hole.

you know who you are. you know what i’m talking about. and don’t sit there with a near smirk on your face and deny the truth. what makes you think that it would be ok? do we really know each other that well? do you think that this is the type of thing that happens every day? am i really that type of girl? if i were that type of girl – how the hell would you know it anyways?

all we shared was a random conversation over dinner. it wasn’t even a date. you buy me a few cosmos at a bar and bore me with the details of your life. i didn’t even want to sleep with you. i took pity on you and, well in all honesty, took pity on myself. everyone needs a little bit of sex once in a while. i knew you wouldn’t be the best. i still held a little bit of hope though. then you go and do a thing like that. and you have the audacity to pretend like it was an accident. this isn’t some 15 year old fumbling around in the backseat of his dad’s oldsmobile here. you have had sex before haven’t you? and has that actually worked with other girls? pathetic.

that is why i got my ass up. put my clothes on. wished you a good future. cut all the bullshit. and got out of there in the first taxi i could hail.

so next time you are with a girl. my advice is to keep it in the correct hole until you at least get her phone number. because honey, we all know that it ain’t no accidental slipage happening there.

***********************

Please note that in the beginning of craigslist, there was only missed connections to put random posts in. Since then, they have a new forum called Rants and Raves.

Unfortunately, from viewing it these days, it seems that the satirical fun has been replaced by the usual Yahoo! message board flamers that rile everyone up by making racist, sexist and religious comments. It is a shame that most stupid people have figured out how to use the Internet because they continue to ruin things.

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I’d rather be doing many things or be in many other places….

  • I’d rather be writing a screenplay, a novel, anything. I’d rather be a professional writer, but lack the talent or determination to actually make that happen.
  • I’d rather have romantically, slacker-filled drifting days that consist of walking in the rain because I don’t care if I get wet, sitting in cafes when they aren’t full and lazily sipping cappuchinos with absolutely nowhere to go.
  • I’d rather be on Pajama Island – the new reality tv show starring Arlie, Stephanie and Roley with guest appearances by our friends.
  • I’d rather be sitting on a beach sweating from tropical humidity with my laptop and a pina colada.
  • I’d rather be discovering cures for lupus in a super secret underground lair with Mr. Bigglesworth.
  • I’d rather be spending the day naked in bed staring into someone’s eyes, connecting the dots with their freckles and inquiring about childhood scars. Drifting in and out of a languid sleep.
  • I’d rather be watching new episodes of Arrested Development developed by Showtime.
  • I’d rather be in a bubble bath.
  • I’d rather be enjoying the company of friends, sharing a bottle of the house red (because you hardly notice when you are laughing so hard) and pouring over the menu because the biggest decision that I have to make is what to order for my main.
  • I’d rather be driving in my Smart down PCH, listening to the new Dimitri from Paris, wearing my big Ralph Lauren sunglasses.
  • I’d rather be anywhere but here…
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    Seriously. It must suck living in the shadow of your neighbor North Dakota. And what does North Dakota really offer except a great movie called Fargo by the Coen Brothers? But then South Dakota goes and does it. They decide to take it upon themselves to ignore Roe v Wade and just go ahead and ban abortions altogether. Yep, not even in the case of rape or incest will they allow abortions.

    Grrrr! This is the kind of stuff that really pisses me off and makes me not want to live in the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. What is so free about taking away women’s rights to their bodies?

    Stupid George W. Bush and all those damned Christian right-wingers… Yep – keep them stupid, living in fear, consuming and breeding. That is all you need to complete your master plan.

    Read the story here

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    It’s been a while since I’ve had a super megastar crush on some Hollywood actor. I don’t even get that riled up about George Clooney or Brad Pitt. But I have to admit that I find Jake Gyllenhaal super duper over the top hot. It also helps that he doesn’t always act in lame movies — Donnie Darko and Bubble Boy — and well we all know that I loved the manlove in Brokeback.

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    I am officially kicking off countdown Miami with an old video from 2003’s trip. Yes, that was the trip with Giles, the Iraq war, Cosmo (pre baby) and the usual cast of misfits and crazies.

    This year will be the 6th in a row that I’ve managed to make it down to WMC. Somehow the kids keep getting younger and we keep getting older (but better looking).

    I think that this might be the year that we bring The Loaf back into play. Of course that will require me going to my storage unit and digging for it…but it might be worth it just to see the look of love in Ornella’s eyes for it.

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