In my most recent act of self-obsessed madness I have done something that many would find funny, yet those who know me might not be shocked.
I joined the gym. Yes, that is correct. I joined the Kensington Leisure Centre. The public gym down the street from my house. As Arlie puts it – the ghetto gym.
And yes, it is a bit ghetto. But for only £40 a month it seems worth it over the higher priced £90 a month Holmes Place next to us. Because let’s all be serious. At least (at this point) I know that I am probably going to sign up, go for a week and then never return again while it eats away at my direct deposit. And somehow I end up paying £1000 and am neither more physically fit or thinner by the time I decide to cancel.
OK. In all actuality, that was just the first part of the story.
The second part of it has to do with a bar. Or a members only club – of which there are quite a few in London. Most of them are stodgy with strict member joining policies that consist of applying, having recommendations made, essays written, applications sent to a board to review. Basically like applying for university. The bar that I am referring to is called Milk and Honey. A nice little bar in Soho of London that has famed cocktails and a relaxed environment. And yes, a members only policy. Without all the crap. Just a waiting list. When memberships come up, the go to the next in line. Simple.
What is the point of even bothering to join a members only bar in one of the world’s biggest cities? Well, things do tend to close early here in London. Then you are somehow left in the streets of dirty Soho trying to decide what to do at 1am and inevitably end up at the “Spanish bar” or wandering the streets with people vomiting on your feet. I’m not a big fan to say the least.
And as you have seen from the previous paragraphs, I lack persistance to deal with such crapola…
Now you may be asking yourself what one has to do with the other.
Well…a few months ago I put myself on the waiting list for Milk and Honey.
And now my membership has come up. And I have decided to join.
But at the same time I realised that I joined the gym and am wasting £40 a month not going.
So it seems that the best way to justify such a ridiculous waste of money as joining a bar is by quitting my gym membership and swapping it for the Milk and Honey membership.
It seems wrong in so many ways.
Quitting gym > joining bar.
But somehow I have a feeling that I will get far more use out of the bar membership than I ever did for the gym membership.
And that, my friends, is the way the cookie crumbles in my sad, sad world.