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I think I am missing half the world there. That sucks. Need to get south more often…

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When are people going to learn that when they do my makeup, they don’t have to make me look like a geisha? There are very few makeup artists that can resist the temptation of making me fully Japanesey.

This was taken to a whole new level last week when at the party for Ornella’s new shop, Misty Beethovan, they decided it was a good idea to actually make me up like a geisha. Full on. I didn’t even know I could look so full blooded.

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Note the little hand cover up laughing thing. Every loves when I do that.

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Ever felt like sending your friends some money via Paypal? I once sent my friend David money for buying a wireless router. But then when Paypal asked me to write a subject and a note I was at a loss. So I did what every normal and sane person does. I wrote – thanks for the marijuana. And then I sent it to him.

And then he accepted my payment.

And then Paypal shut down his account for being a drug dealer. No questions asked, account competely locked out.

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Oops.

The lesson learned in this whole ordeal is that you can buy drugs with Paypal, you just can’t sell them. My account remained unharmed and my status still stellar.

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I am like a sea of light in this queue of zombielike business travellers. Get your liquids and laptops out, folks.

Which reminds me of yet another pet peeve. People that have 20 minutes to prep in the line and then get to the x-ray and seem surprised that they have to take their coats off and throw away their water bottles. Have they been living in a freakin hole for the past 9 months?

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Does this make you famous?
Walking around this morning and saw this sticker. I don’t get it for two reasons.

1. Since when does being on goggle maps make you famous?

2. I have clearly already physically found them, so why would I have to find them again on a map?

Maybe I am not meant to understand certain things in life…

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I am a huge Grey’s Anatomy fan. What can I say, this goes hand in hand with my undercover love of romantic comedies. I am addicted to McDreamy and McSteamy and all the dramas of Izzy, etc…

So how excited was I this weekend to come home from my trip and find that there was a double episode of Grey’s to download on iTunes? Let me tell you, I was like a pig in shit.

Go 1GB download on my super crap Virgin connection and tucked myself into bed with a 1/2 Xanax and a bottle of water to hang out with my friends at Seattle Grace.

Low and behold…here comes the catch.

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What is going on in this 2 hour episode? Addison decides to take off to So Cal in a Dylan McCay Porsche that she can’t drive and ends up with a bunch of other really hot, mid 30s doctors.

Something smells fishy here, folks.

I smell —- ewwwww —- a spin off.

Please tell me it isn’t so. It is so Melrose Place meets Facts of Life meets Joanie loves Chachi. And why would they pick pouty-lipped, always with a dumb look on her face, Addison to spin off? What about McDreamy? I could stare at that dude for hours.

I guess that is the end of Grey’s Anatomy as we know it. Time for me to start getting into the Wire…

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After returning home from my trip to Roma I was once again annoyed whilst at the airport. It happens every single time I am at any airport regardless of where I am in the world and it never fails to piss me off.

Why the hell do people have to crowd the baggage carousels? It is completely and totally unnecessary for entire families to stand right next to the carousel. Seriously. Grandma is not going to be able to pull off the 50lb suitcase without ripping her arm out of socket and the 2 year old is probably going to get the thing in his face if that happens and then the entire place will go into chaos and I will never get my bags.

Dear People,

When you go to the airport and you are picking up your bags, please do not take a cart and your kids and your cousins and stand in front of the carousel thereby blocking everyone else’s view and making it near impossible to get your bags without shoving your entire family to the side and tripping over your cart.

Stand back. Relax. Look for your bag coming down the line. When you see it, step forward and claim it. How hard is it?

Thank you,

Stephanie

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OK, now onto other greener pastures.

I get confused everytime I go through customs as to which lane I am supposed to take.

Let me explain.

In Europe there are 3 lanes.

  • Arrivals from the European Union (blue sign)
  • Nothing to claim (green sign)
  • Stuff to claim (red sign)

    As I see it, I fall into 2 of these cateogories most times I travel. I am arriving from the EU and I don’t have anything to claim. So each time I get to the little gate, I get confused as to which is the correct choice. It simply does not make sense to me. Damn them and their bad usability.

    And now, my final complaint…

    At Heathrow they have introduced a really cool new iris scanning technology that allows you to be fast-tracked through immigration. In theory this sounds completely awesome to me. No more stupid landing cards, no more huge UK stamps filling up my passport, no queues. Great! So what’s the catch?

    I can never sign up for the stupid ass scheme because everytime I go to the airport the office is closed. That is correct. You can only sign up AFTER you go through customs and are in departures during a certain time period. If you take evening flights you are screwed. WTF? Why can’t I go to an office and sign up? I find this process extremely frustrating. I want to use the damned system!!!

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    Who was the man that made Alanis so damned bitter? Doesn’t matter, I still like her bitterness. Reminds me of being 19 and raging with the roomies.

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