I know that I haven’t been the blog master so much this year. Things have been hectic and when things are hectic I can’t really think of what to write because my brain is going off in 12,000 directions at once.

Here is a quicky recap of the last month.

Went to Rome for a nice four day holiday to visit our old friend Ornella. She was opening a shop called Misty Beethovan in the heart of Rome. And not just any old shop. A boudoir, sexytime shop – described as an erotic drugstore. She has spent the good part of the last year working on her vision and the results are nothing less than extraordinary. The place is stunning really. And her stock is amazing. Leave it up to good old Mama O to get the best of the best goods in her place.


Arrived in Rome to the opening of the party – in true Stephanie style, 3 hours and no hors d’oeuvres left. Great party though. Best part was that Gbemi was there. If anyone remembers, she was one of the girls that stayed with Ornella and I in Miami 3 years ago. Fantastic to have someone to speak English with.

Ended up roaming around Rome (funny that) for the next several days with Gbemi. Literally haven’t walked that much in ages. We saw many great things which I hardly remember the names of at this point, but as always Rome was utterly beautiful and inviting. Defo one of my favourite places in Europe.

Finally ended the trip with a party at the SAS hotel in Rome. Sunday evening event in their rooftop bar. All the creme de la creme of Rome were in attendence and Ornella and friends were hosting the themed party – 7 deadly sins – with lust taking center stage. This was the evening that I was dressed as a geisha and turned loose to be molested by horny Italian men.

Gbemi and I ended up leaving a tad early but met some handsome young men in the lobby who invited us to a fish dinner. Since we were both hungry – for fish dinner and for some straight men (all of Ornella’s friends are fags) – we decided to take them up on this adventure. Ended up in the company of some friendly Italians for dinner, who I might mention I had earlier told to fuck off in the lift, way to go karma. A few hours and several bottles of wine later we headed back to Ornella’s house so I could get packed and get my flight. Ouch – 7 am flights are no fun on zero sleep.

Flash forward four days to Friday. Once again on a flight. This time to Barcelona for Giles’ 41st birthday party and Formula 1. Met up with Giles at our old stomping ground, Paco Meralgo, and slammed some drinks and tapas down. Then headed out with Alex(ia) to CDLC to mooch some free cocktails off Bonita while she finished up her shift. The boys left and Bonita and I headed out on the town. Went to some maritime club and drank more free beverages whilst being acosted by men and boys of all ages. Que horor! Finally ended up hitchhiking with a car consisting of trannies. Seriously, we jumped in a car of trannies. Typical night in Barcelona. Ended the evening around 6 am with Bon putting on some Austrailian tv show dvd and passing out. The best part was when her phone rang and she answered my high heel. Hmmm…


Next day went to Cinc Sentits with Fiona and Tim. Ate a fantastic and filling meal consisting of a lot of vino. Got slightly (ok really) drunk. Ended up going to get martini rosso in the sunshine with the Cinc crew including Ma and talking about my health issues. Then nap time for me while Fee and Tim went shopping for Giles pressie at Gucci.

In the evening got dressed in my finest new threads from Roma and headed to Giles’ rooftop (attico) terrace for the partay. Everyone was there. Like a super Private reunion. It was so nice to see the crew…Xavi, Roger, Elvira, Iva – ala! Happy times. Everyone always brings Giles tons of vodka on his birthday – must be the whole Vodka Doll thing. I was pretty tame and snuck out at 1 am cause I wasn’t feeling so hot, but Fiona managed to roll into the flat around 6 am so I spose they all had a great time.

And now this week I’ve been ill again all week. Ewww. Does it ever end? Was supposed to go to Amsterdam this weekend for the European Gay Porn awards (EGPA) with Giles and Alex, but I couldn’t make it after all.

That is about all the adventure that my little body has in it. Hasta luego till next trip.

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I think I am missing half the world there. That sucks. Need to get south more often…

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When are people going to learn that when they do my makeup, they don’t have to make me look like a geisha? There are very few makeup artists that can resist the temptation of making me fully Japanesey.

This was taken to a whole new level last week when at the party for Ornella’s new shop, Misty Beethovan, they decided it was a good idea to actually make me up like a geisha. Full on. I didn’t even know I could look so full blooded.


Note the little hand cover up laughing thing. Every loves when I do that.

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Ever felt like sending your friends some money via Paypal? I once sent my friend David money for buying a wireless router. But then when Paypal asked me to write a subject and a note I was at a loss. So I did what every normal and sane person does. I wrote – thanks for the marijuana. And then I sent it to him.

And then he accepted my payment.

And then Paypal shut down his account for being a drug dealer. No questions asked, account competely locked out.



The lesson learned in this whole ordeal is that you can buy drugs with Paypal, you just can’t sell them. My account remained unharmed and my status still stellar.

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I am like a sea of light in this queue of zombielike business travellers. Get your liquids and laptops out, folks.

Which reminds me of yet another pet peeve. People that have 20 minutes to prep in the line and then get to the x-ray and seem surprised that they have to take their coats off and throw away their water bottles. Have they been living in a freakin hole for the past 9 months?

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Does this make you famous?
Walking around this morning and saw this sticker. I don’t get it for two reasons.

1. Since when does being on goggle maps make you famous?

2. I have clearly already physically found them, so why would I have to find them again on a map?

Maybe I am not meant to understand certain things in life…

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I am a huge Grey’s Anatomy fan. What can I say, this goes hand in hand with my undercover love of romantic comedies. I am addicted to McDreamy and McSteamy and all the dramas of Izzy, etc…

So how excited was I this weekend to come home from my trip and find that there was a double episode of Grey’s to download on iTunes? Let me tell you, I was like a pig in shit.

Go 1GB download on my super crap Virgin connection and tucked myself into bed with a 1/2 Xanax and a bottle of water to hang out with my friends at Seattle Grace.

Low and behold…here comes the catch.


What is going on in this 2 hour episode? Addison decides to take off to So Cal in a Dylan McCay Porsche that she can’t drive and ends up with a bunch of other really hot, mid 30s doctors.

Something smells fishy here, folks.

I smell —- ewwwww —- a spin off.

Please tell me it isn’t so. It is so Melrose Place meets Facts of Life meets Joanie loves Chachi. And why would they pick pouty-lipped, always with a dumb look on her face, Addison to spin off? What about McDreamy? I could stare at that dude for hours.

I guess that is the end of Grey’s Anatomy as we know it. Time for me to start getting into the Wire…

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After returning home from my trip to Roma I was once again annoyed whilst at the airport. It happens every single time I am at any airport regardless of where I am in the world and it never fails to piss me off.

Why the hell do people have to crowd the baggage carousels? It is completely and totally unnecessary for entire families to stand right next to the carousel. Seriously. Grandma is not going to be able to pull off the 50lb suitcase without ripping her arm out of socket and the 2 year old is probably going to get the thing in his face if that happens and then the entire place will go into chaos and I will never get my bags.

Dear People,

When you go to the airport and you are picking up your bags, please do not take a cart and your kids and your cousins and stand in front of the carousel thereby blocking everyone else’s view and making it near impossible to get your bags without shoving your entire family to the side and tripping over your cart.

Stand back. Relax. Look for your bag coming down the line. When you see it, step forward and claim it. How hard is it?

Thank you,



OK, now onto other greener pastures.

I get confused everytime I go through customs as to which lane I am supposed to take.

Let me explain.

In Europe there are 3 lanes.

  • Arrivals from the European Union (blue sign)
  • Nothing to claim (green sign)
  • Stuff to claim (red sign)

    As I see it, I fall into 2 of these cateogories most times I travel. I am arriving from the EU and I don’t have anything to claim. So each time I get to the little gate, I get confused as to which is the correct choice. It simply does not make sense to me. Damn them and their bad usability.

    And now, my final complaint…

    At Heathrow they have introduced a really cool new iris scanning technology that allows you to be fast-tracked through immigration. In theory this sounds completely awesome to me. No more stupid landing cards, no more huge UK stamps filling up my passport, no queues. Great! So what’s the catch?

    I can never sign up for the stupid ass scheme because everytime I go to the airport the office is closed. That is correct. You can only sign up AFTER you go through customs and are in departures during a certain time period. If you take evening flights you are screwed. WTF? Why can’t I go to an office and sign up? I find this process extremely frustrating. I want to use the damned system!!!

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