Your Aquarius Report
Stephanie
January 27
7:21 AM
Fresno, CA
Section 1: General Characteristics
Your fundamental needs, values, and orientation towards life are symbolized by the four astrological elements, stephanie. Each person has their own unique balance of these four basic energies: fire (warmth, inspiration, enthusiasm), earth (practicality, realism, material interests), air (social and intellectual qualities), and water (emotional needs and feelings).
Your "elemental makeup" is described below. Remember that most people are "unbalanced" or lopsided, and if you are lacking or deficient in a certain element (or elements), it simply means that you need to consciously develop that aspect of yourself to learn to appreciate and/or to work harder in that dimension of life.
Sometimes we overvalue the element that we are least endowed with, sensing it as a lack within ourselves, but more often we neglect or ignore it. The qualities described below will be reiterated and explained in more detail in the following chapters.

One of your basic challenges is to learn to empathize, to enter into others' personal inner experience with sensitivity and compassion. Real intimacy doesn't come easily to you. You're apt to think, analyze, and respond coolly and rationally even in what other people might consider a highly emotional situation, and this coolness or distance can prevent you from developing deep closeness to others. You need to learn that logic and reason are only part of the whole picture, and to respect your own and other people's "irrational", subjective, emotional experience, which is just as important as the "facts" of the matter.

Deep emotionalism is uncomfortable for you and frequently you will avoid, and yet be simultaneously drawn to people who express intense feelings and emotional needs. With your gift for verbalization, you may be able to talk about feelings without actually diving in to your own or others' real experience. Becoming too intellectual and airy, too removed from the personal side of life, is a tendency you need to beware of as an Aquarius with an Air Dominant/Lacking Water elemental makeup. Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 1: Air is Strong, Water is Weak (F,E,A,W Scores = 13,8,25,3) Section 2: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others The following is a description of your basic stance towards life, the way others see you, the way you come across, the face you show to the world. In Chapter 3 you will read about the "The Inner You: Your Real Motivation", which describes the kind of person you are at heart and where your true priorities lie. Read this chapter and the next one and compare them - there may be significant differences between them, in which case "the inner you" may not shine through and others are in for some surprises when they get to know you at a more than superficial level. This chapter describes the costume you wear, your role in life, while Chapter 3 talks about the real person inside the costume. A forward-looking and progressive Aquarius, stephanie, you are a person who supports change, innovation, and human advancement, and you are often strongly committed to a humanitarian cause or social improvement. You are extremely aware of the interconnection and interdependence of all people, and are always relating personal issues to some larger framework, and these views are even further enhanced by the presence of the Aquarius Ascendant found in your chart. You see the political or social ramifications of personal actions, and you wish to contribute something of value to the world, or at least to your community or group. The ideals of equality, fairness, human rights, brotherhood, social justice, etc. color your whole outlook and approach to life. You are truly interested in the good of the whole and not only your own personal well-being.

Sometimes you may overlook or ignore your own and others' personal needs, desires, and feelings, especially if they do not conform to your ideals of how one SHOULD feel or act. Though you have little patience for conservative narrow-mindedness, you yourself are sometimes dogmatic about your beliefs and ideologies. Like most Aquarians, you are attracted to the avant-garde, the latest advances in human thought and development, and you are eclectic and cosmopolitan in your tastes, stephanie. You may consider yourself a "global citizen" rather than claiming a narrow, limited identification based on nationality, race, familial heritage, etc. You are strongly influenced by your peer group and the flavor of the times in which you grew up, more so than by parental or family influences. You are involved and active in groups, community efforts, cultural and progressive movements. On a personal level, you are a friendly Aquarius and express a kind of impersonal good will towards others. You probably have many acquaintances but few really close friends, and much of your closeness with others is based on a sharing of common ideals and principles, rather than on emotional ties. Others see you as an Aquarius who is a good friend and comrade, someone who is objective, fair, and rather detached emotionally. Like many Aquarians, you do not often show your emotions, and may be unsure how to respond to others' emotional expression, for you tend to be very rational. You are also a very independent Aquarius and refuse to be possessed by any individual. You are not comfortable with traditional sexual roles and are inclined to have "liberated" views about marriage, relationships, sharing of child rearing responsibilities, etc. You need to have a life outside of the personal, domestic sphere and to be involved with people on a broader scale. The nurturing of family ties, and close, deep, personal sharing may take a back seat to your work or outside social activities. You seem quirky, unusual, offbeat and "different". Sometimes it seems you are trying to provoke people and upset the status quo just by being yourself. You tend to be restless, excitable, and somewhat ungrounded or nervous as well. You are direct, honest, and to the point -- some might say excessively so. However, no one has to guess who you are or what you want -- you're pretty much up front. You radiate a refreshing enthusiasm and vigor when you're at your best. You seem to enjoy competition without taking it terribly seriously. There is a certain intensity, charisma, or compelling attractiveness about you that may have little to do with your physical features. It's an energy, a subtle sexuality, that you emanate. Also, you tend to do everything wholeheartedly and with passion, which is quite fascinating to other people. Your instincts and psychological perceptions about others are quite incisive. You tend to blend in with and take on the characteristics of the people in your surroundings, and may thus not make a powerful individual statement of your own. You may project an aura of glamour or "make-believe", and enjoy trying on different personalities at different times. Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 2: Aquarius Rising Uranus Square Asc. Mars Trine Asc. Pluto Trine Asc. Neptune Sextile Asc. Section 3: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation Many of the traits described in Chapter 2 are emphasized again below, stephanie. Be especially wary of the tendency to be oblivious to the personal feelings of others because otherwise you sometimes hurt others' feelings without realizing it. You are a freedom-loving, strong-willed, and independent-minded Aquarius, and you insist upon living your own life as you see fit, even if that means ignoring convention and tradition. In personal relationships you cannot be owned or possessed, and while you are willing to share yourself with another, you do not always adjust easily to the emotional give and take of a close relationship. Though an intellectually open Aquarius, you can be enormously stubborn, opinionated, and inflexible on a one-to-one level. You have strong convictions and feelings about fairness and equality, and you try to live by your ideals, but your ideals about how people SHOULD treat one another don't always take into account human weaknesses, differences, and needs. You probably dislike sentimentality and traditional gender roles and "games". You are fair, intelligent, objective, rational and often let your head rule rather than your heart, stephanie. Aquarians like you seem rather self-sufficient and detached emotionally because you are capable of putting aside your personal feelings and viewing things dispassionately. But once you make up your mind on an issue, you are difficult to sway and can be rather dogmatic. You think in broad terms and are concerned with the world beyond your own personal sphere - your town, nation, or even planet. You are likely to become involved in community affairs, social organizations, and groups of all kinds, or to have a keen interest in such. You enjoy being part of a group endeavor and often find yourself organizing, managing, or supervising group activities. A forward-looking and progressive Aquarius, you harbor great hopes for the future. You stay current and up to date, and respond to contemporary cultural trends, both in terms of personal style and in terms of ideas. When young you were very influenced by your peers and by group pressures and by all the "latest crazes". You have an experimental mind and are attracted by the novel. Your strong points include your concern for human welfare and social betterment, your sense of fairness and democratic spirit, and your vision. Your faults are your stubbornness and inflexibility, stephanie, and a tendency to be very obtuse and insensitive when it comes to personal feelings and human needs. You tend to get involved in the helping professions or in activities where your efforts are hidden, behind the scenes, unacknowledged, or unknown to the public. Asserting yourself or getting up in front of an audience may be exceedingly uncomfortable for you. An impulsive, restless, and spontaneous Aquarius, your life is apt to be somewhat unstable and full of sudden changes. You are an extremely independent Aquarius and crave excitement, adventure, freedom, and discovery. You have a rebellious streak and often feel you are unusual and different from the mainstream of society. The unorthodox and novel appeal to you. stephanie, you have a deep belief in your own power and your ability to survive any change and to emerge victoriously from any difficulty. You have tremendous inner resources and strength. Intense, strong willed, and zealous, you pursue your desires and goals with complete dedication and singleness of purpose, and you may be somewhat compulsive, even fanatical at times. You like to live intensely and have no respect for people who are weak, who avoid confronting life and their own destiny. Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 3: Ascendant in Aquarius and Sun in Aquarius
Sun in Aquarius
Sun in 12th house
Sun Square Uranus
Sun Trine Pluto

Section 4: Mental Interests and Abilities Clear, objective, and realistic, you are unimpressed by exaggerated claims or promises. You insist upon being shown facts to back up any statement you hear, and your natural skepticism often borders on cynicism. As an Aquarius with a chart that contains the Mercury in Capricorn aspect, you approach problems clearly and rationally and maintain your poise and objectivity even in the midst of critical situations. Anyone seeking your advice is certain to get an unemotional and unbiased assessment of their situation, and you therefore make a good arbitrator or judge. You are thorough, conscientious, and disciplined in your thinking, and have an aptitude for business, organization, and administration. You are also a good strategist, stephanie, and will plan and patiently follow a realistic course which will lead to your eventual success. Serious-minded and studious, you enjoy quiet time alone for thinking or reading. You don't speak up readily, even when you have a lot to say! Also, your mind tends to drift and you find it difficult to study very factual material that doesn't have much color or imaginative appeal. Your intuition and first impressions are likely to be quite accurate, however, and you tend to depend upon this faculty in making decisions. You scrutinize, analyze, dissect, and critically assess ideas before you accept them. You may seem judgmental, serious, and unreceptive to others' thoughts, particularly if they are frivolous or poorly thought out. You prefer substantial conversation rather than superficial, light, meaningless banter. You generally think deeply and carefully before speaking and wish others would do the same! Communication problems, like extreme reticence, stuttering, or interpersonal difficulties, may well be challenges for you. You have an abundance of thoughts and many ideas to expand your horizon. Always receptive to new ideas, you tend to acquire considerable knowledge, stephanie. New vistas of understanding may appeal to you, and you may get involved in groups that teach these ideas. Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 4: Mercury in Capricorn
Mercury in 12th house
Mercury Opposition Saturn
Mercury Conjunct Jupiter/Uranus

Section 5: Emotions: Moods, Feelings, Romance Open and generous, you enjoy a wide circle of friends and acquaintances and you thrive on sociability and fellowship. You are an adventurous, playful, freedom-loving Aquarius, and always ready for a good time. You rarely allow obstacles or difficulties to keep you down, for no matter how bleak the past or present, you always expect a better, brighter future. In fact, you are uncomfortable with your own or other people's problems and emotional pain. You often try to "cheer up" or offer philosophical advice to those who are hurting, but unwittingly you avoid or ignore the emotions involved. Friendship means a great deal to you, stephanie, perhaps even more than love or romance. For you to be happy, your mate must be your best friend and encourage your aspirations and ideals. Like most people born under the Aquarius Sun sign, you also need a great deal of emotional freedom and mobility. You get a lot of emotional fulfillment through your involvement in groups, clubs, organizations, community activities, or a network of close friends who support and care for you. You make friends your family, stephanie, and feel a close kinship with people who share some ideals or beliefs that you hold dear. You need people outside of your physical family to relate to and belong to. You are an easygoing, agreeable, and tolerant Aquarius, willing to overlook others' mistakes, forget the past, and begin again on a positive note. You enjoy making others comfortable and happy, and sometimes overdo your generosity. You often feel that "everything will turn out all right no matter what I do", and so become lazy and lackadaisical. Emotionally excitable for an Aquarius, you tend to act impulsively and make rash decisions without thinking of the consequences, stephanie. Others may see you as an eccentric, somewhat selfish and unpredictable. You seem to attract sudden upsetting experiences. Your interaction with others has an emotional overtone and you have a strong desire to share your feelings with others. Your circle of friends is likely to be large and you enjoy many pleasant meeting with them. You have a dreamy nature and an inclination to be influenced or led easily by other people. You look for the perfect mate and dream of fulfillment. You must learn to deal with your extreme idealism and to face life a little more realistically. You respond to your environment in a highly emotional way and encounters with other people can get you excited easily. Your mood tends to change quickly, though, depending on the response you receive from others. You are definitely not one to wear your heart on your sleeve. You care very much about others' opinions and crave love and appreciation as much as anyone, but one would never know it from your reserved and seemingly detached Aquarian appearance. Casual, superficial relationships don't interest you at all. You are cautious and serious about love and really desire a deep, genuine, lasting love. You are old-fashioned about courtship and love, and will remain faithful to your loved one in good times and in bad. You may be attracted to persons older than yourself, someone who is emotionally mature and reliable and who can provide the security you desire. You are a very sociable, congenial person and due to the presence of Venus in the 11th house found in your chart, you wilt very quickly without the company of good friends and people to share good times with. You thoroughly enjoy working with others on group projects or community activities, stephanie. You are quite happy when you are a part of a club, support group, or team of some sort. You tend to deprive yourself of pleasure, friendship, and love, either because you feel you don't deserve it or you think it's wrong to enjoy life too much. You may have been indoctrinated with a duty-and-work-before-all-else orientation early on. You may also think of yourself as unattractive or unlovable, and thus close your heart to opportunities to share love and companionship, never quite believing that others actually like you. You're apt to prefer solitude to being in uncomfortable social situations, and your shyness may be intense -- especially when young. Learning to truly love and accept yourself -- including whatever flaws or imperfections you believe you have -- is so important for you. This process of self-appreciation and self-love will reap rewards, especially in later life. Others are drawn to you because of your affable, social and appealing disposition, and you are likely to have many pleasant and friendly relationships. You also have strong artistic inclinations and may consider a creative field as a profession or hobby. Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 5: Moon in Sagittarius Moon in 11th house
Moon Trine Jupiter
Moon Conjunct Sun/Uranus
Moon Conjunct Mercury/N. Node
Moon Conjunct Venus/Neptune
Moon Conjunct Uranus/Asc.
Venus in Capricorn
Venus in 11th house
Venus Quincunx Saturn
Venus Conjunct Sun/MC

Section 6: Drive and Ambition: How You Achieve Your Goals
You are a "busy bee" - energetic, restless, and forever on the go. Your active mind is always buzzing with ideas and you find it difficult sometimes to relax, slow down, or take time to reflect and replenish yourself. Aquarians like you tend to live on nervous energy. You can accomplish much in short bursts but projects that require long-term commitment, stamina, and steady, persistent effort are not easy for you. You often scatter your energies into so many directions and activities at once that you cannot finish or follow through on some of them, stephanie. You need variety, change, and mental challenges.

As an Aquarius you have a sharp and eager mind, and you enjoy games and competitions that have a mental component. You like to match wits with someone else.

You often achieve your desires by your verbal skill, your ability to speak clearly, vigorously, and convincingly for what you want. Your drive and energy is more mental than physical. You use your wit, intelligence, communication skills, social sophistication, and awareness to achieve your goals.

It is not easy for you to show the world at large your angry or competitive side, but your family sees this side of you more often. Temper tantrums, tumultuous family relationships, or a great deal of competition between you and one or more of your relations is likely, stephanie. You like to be the one in charge in your home and you put a lot of energy into making it the way you want it.

You have a rather cocky, confident, we-can-do-it attitude which people in your environment pick up on quite readily. Inspiring, motivating, and encouraging others to go out and do their very best is one of your innate gifts. You have faith in the power of action and boldness, and enjoy imitating new programs and projects.

Your competitive drive and big ambitions (commented upon earlier) are fueled upon by either strong spiritual idealism, or a rather inflated, grandiose idea of what you can actually accomplish. Your energy level is apt to fluctuate from being very strong, as noted earlier, to rather low, as mentioned in the following paragraphs.

Unless you have a goal that transcends merely personal gain, you are apt to become deeply discontented, aimless, and uncertain of your direction in life. At your best, stephanie, you will work or fight for a larger cause, and feel fulfilled through service to the whole. Unless you are focused in this way however, you can be confused and easily persuaded to do things which are either unethical or simply ineffectual.

You have a strong sense of mission and you instinctively know that to achieve anything great, one must eliminate superfluous activities, and give oneself wholly to the goal one wishes to accomplish. Your zeal, enthusiasm, and clarity of purpose enable you to succeed and to achieve whatever you aim for. You have a strong will, stephanie, but you are usually quiet and understated about it.

Your desires are very strong and at times you could be quite forceful and impulsive in your sexual expression. You want to be with those who are closest and most important to you and have a great need to express your affection for them.

Discipline, concentration, a realistic sense of what is attainable, and steady dedication to achieving your ambitions are the keys to your progress. You're apt to move slowly but constantly in the direction of your goals, and solid achievement is the outcome of this conservative approach.

Your profession is apt to involve communications, language, carrying messages, sales, speaking, or teaching -- put simply, stephanie, getting ideas across. A great deal of social involvement, networking, and personnel skills also play a significant part in your professional role.

You have a lot of energy and are determined and ambitious in the pursuit of your goals. But you have a tendency to change your aims or objectives frequently, are quite restless, and always ready and excited to start something new.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 6:
Mars in Gemini
Mars in 4th house
Mars Sextile Jupiter
Mars aspects Jupiter and Neptune
Mars Opposition Neptune
Mars Trine Pluto
Mars Opposition Venus/MC
Saturn Trine MC
Mercury Sextile MC
MC Conjunct Moon/Uranus

Section 7: Growth and Expansion: Areas That You Enjoy
You believe strongly in the power of positivity and in each individual's ability to make life anything desired through one's own initiative and effort. The more you rely on yourself, the better you feel, stephanie, and you find it difficult to ask for or accept outside help. The joy of competing (and especially winning!) runs deep in you.

Wealth, material well-being, and prosperity are very important to you, and you would never choose a profession that didn't offer you great promise and opportunity for growth (financial and otherwise).

You are a very generous Aquarius and are sometimes careless with money; you don't want to hold on to it, you want to enjoy it and use it to enrich your life. Whatever you do with your money, you do in a big way - making it, spending it, or blowing it! You may accumulate elegant, high quality things (art, jewelry, etc).

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 7:
Jupiter in Aries
Jupiter in 2nd house

Section 8: Areas That Challenge You Or Are Difficult For You
You fear becoming emotionally dependent upon others, and may distance yourself or deny your needs for closeness and intimacy so that you won't be vulnerable to rejection or abandonment. On the other hand, you may cling excessively or need constant reassurance from loved ones and family. Developing a deep, inner sense of security, as well as the ability to give and receive nurturing are important tasks for you.

You take both your work and your health very seriously, but you may demand so much of yourself at work that you compromise your health. You can become a workaholic, not so much because you have lofty ambitions, but because you never feel like you've done enough. You are overly responsible or overly conscientious at work, so much so that you may not enjoy it at all.

You can also get overly involved in self-improvement or your health, and you tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac.

You have a desire to break away from tradition and to free yourself from restricting conditions. Somewhat inflexible and rigid, you may suddenly become inhibited before you initiate your objectives, which could work out to your disadvantage.

Now we will discuss patterns of behavior which you instinctively and habitually revert to when under stress - a mostly unconscious process and one which you are apt to overdo because it is so familiar and thus easy for you. The direction you need to follow in order to develop balance, greater awareness, and wholeness is also described.

You are capable of withstanding outside influences and remaining constant and steady on your path, stephanie, but when under stress you become downright obstinate and implacable, resisting any change no matter how necessary or desirable the change is. Tenaciously trying to preserve the status quo and hold on to what you have, you are apt to ignore the subtle signals you receive about needing to do something differently which often leads to some sort of crisis.

You need to learn the limits of your ability to control life, and to accept and even embrace change and loss of the familiar, in order to allow new life and growth to happen. "Letting go" is a major life lesson for you. You also need to develop a balanced attitude toward your appetites and desires, as you tend to overindulge and/or deny yourself excessively.

The arena you are most likely to wrestle with these issues is in developing a personal vision or philosophy of life, whether this be through religious or philosophical studies, a broadening education, or visiting and drawing upon the wisdom in distant lands or cultures. Cultivate the qualities described above in this endeavor. Long distance communication and involvement with foreigners is likely to be significant to you.

You are highly emotional and tend to display your feelings in a theatrical way. You are an Aquarius who seems to enjoy being somewhat eccentric and find it difficult to adapt yourself to others. Although you may seek emotional fulfillment, stephanie, you don't do well in associations and team work.

You are able to achieve good cooperation with people, and others see you as a welcome comrade. You like to work hand in hand with everyone and have an excellent sense of team-work.

You like to be on the go constantly and tend to have a hectic family life. You know how to eliminate competition, stephanie, but should guard against rising to the top in your position at the expense of other people.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 8:
Saturn in Cancer
Saturn in 6th house
Saturn Opposition Jupiter/Uranus
N. Node in Scorpio
N. Node in 9th house
N. Node Conjunct Moon/Pluto
N. Node Opposition Mars/Jupiter
N. Node Conjunct Uranus/MC

Section 9: Originality and Imagination
Areas Where You Are Creative, Unique, Unstable, or Compulsive

As an Aquarius you are naturally unconventional, even iconoclastic, in your attitude toward religion, philosophy, and politics. You tend to see traditional religion as restrictive, meaningless ritual with little to offer you, and you're eager to experiment with other, alternative pathways. You have lots of creative, innovative ideas and you often feel that others are unwilling to take risks and venture out of their deeply ingrained perspectives and views, both traits that are even further brought out by the presence of Uranus in the 9th hose found in your chart.

You are a very idealistic person, and you want to see your ideals, hopes, and dreams made concrete and real in the everyday world. You are driven to put your ideals into action.

When young you may be rather aimless or confused about your place in the world. In early adult life it is likely that you struggle to find ways to express your imagination, fantasies, and ideals in your career. Due to the presence of Neptune in the 10th house found in your chart, work that involves compassionate service (such as medicine or the ministry) may be your calling. If you lack personal integrity and honesty, you quickly go to the opposite extreme and you can con others through dishonesty and trickery. Music, art, film-making or entertainment are also areas in which you are well-suited.

You are a person of great depth and have a deep interest in the hidden or darker side of life. Issues and experiences others shun, you are drawn to and compelled to examine. The use and misuse of personal, social, and political power intrigues you. Death is also an area you are fascinated with and may explore in depth, stephanie. You may have many experiences in which you are forced to burn your bridges and start over again.

You could have a rather ruthless and unscrupulous side to your personality that will do anything to destroy opposition. You may be a fanatic in work and are capable of making great efforts in order to achieve a lot, overtaxing your strength in the process.

You may feel that you cannot rely on anyone but yourself and force is needed to get ahead in life. You tend to go your way alone and can be rather stressed and anxious at times. You may deny yourself things and rather go without than asking others for help.

Daring and adventurous, you rush in where others fear to tread and are willing to take on any challenge. You don't mind quarreling or arguing with people and have a strong desire to dominate your surroundings.

Astrological influences analyzed in Chapter 9:
Uranus in 9th house
Neptune in 10th house
Pluto in 8th house
Pluto Opposition Sun/Mars
Pluto Conjunct Moon/Saturn
Pluto Opposition Mars/Asc.

On the July 2 full moon, your batteries will be running low. With that moon so flawlessly angled to your ruler, Uranus, expect happy surprises. A lot of drama appears to be going on in your life on a very basic, everyday level, so you will have to stay organized. You had that experience last month, but now you will need to add a critical partner to the mix, and this person will become quite vocal about what he or she feels are your failings. This person may be a romantic partner or someone you deal with at work, such as a client, boss or close collaborator. Don't allow this to undermine your confidence. Stay strong, dear Aquarius -- fight for what you believe to be true. By next month, you'll gain a better perspective. For now, take what you hear with a spirit of intellectual curiosity, and you may pick up a few helpful pointers --compromise is not always a bad idea. Only you can decide when to stick to your guns and when to give in a little. Fortunately, your intuition will be very sharp this month, so listen to what it tells you. At month's end, it would be easy to misunderstand what is being said to you, so go to great lengths to be sure you hear the right message. Next month Mercury will go retrograde, so you will go from a schedule that presents too much stimulation to one that brings not nearly enough. Pace yourself by keeping your schedule light. Some months, like this one, a long workout at the gym or finding time to go to the movies is not a luxury but an absolute necessity. It will be a great month to get on track for a healthy lifestyle. Do so at the best new moon of the year for health matters, July 17 and in the two weeks that follow. Venus, now in a strong position in fellow earth sign Gemini, will bring zest to your love life, especially on July 16 and 27. The full moon in Aquarius on July 31 could turn out to be a major moment of the month for you when something dear to you reaches a climatic finish. It might be a date that makes you breathless -- see what develops! In a month where getting control over anything will seem like an impossible dream, grab what opportunities you have to enjoy yourself to the fullest. Everyone needs a little fun, and that includes you, too, dear Aquarius.

This weekend was the long Spanish holiday weekend of San Juan. The fiesta de San Juan is a pagan tradition given Christian sanction for it dates back to an ancient celebration of the Midsummer Solstice. It is a festival of bonfires and mayhem in the streets, echoed all over Spain. The climax of the festival comes at midnight on the 23rd when juas, large cloth figures filled with sawdust, paper or similar materials, are set on fire. These figures are made by the people of the neighbourhoods and usually represent a grotesque caricature of some public figure. The bonfire is also the occasion to get rid of old furniture, which helps to keep the fire burning much longer! Most of the bonfires prepared to burn the juas are set up along the beach. When the flames have dwindled to an appropriate size, young people start jumping over the fire, demonstrating great ability in a competition of skill and bravery. At the same time the rest of the group continues to dance around the fire. According to tradition, the night of San Juan is magical (in Rome it is thought the witches fly) and anyone having a swim in the sea or who washes his/her face with sea water at the stroke of midnight will conserve eternal beauty. Well, needless to say, I didn't wash my face with sea water. In fact, I avoided the beach altogether. Ended up eating sushi with Lennea - a friend of Loebers from NYC - and drinking a few copas de cava. Fell asleep relatively early in the back bedroom. Woke up on Thursday morning bright and early to Ariel phoning me and hanging up. And then phoning back. Turns out that I made some slightly drunken plan with him to go to Cannes for the weekend. Next thing I know, he was knocking at my door with a full suitcase packed and a smile on his face. Freak! After much prodding and poking, I finally got in the road trip mood and we were off. In the Smart car to Cannes. Can I say that the car might be called Smart, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the passengers are of the same class... Yes, we are insane. Driving on a 700 kilometer road trip is not exactly the smartest thing that one can do. Not only is the car a death trap on the road, it is also extremely small and not very comfortable for a hungover Stephanie. Well, 7 hours later we were in the beautiful French Riviera. Greeted by John at the Hilton Nogu. Bonita was still in Cannes following our other trip, so we hooked up for dinner and drinks with her Thibaud and Cliff. There was some massive craziness going on at our restaurant due to the Euro 2004 match between Portugal and England. Anyways, ended up going to some other party for a bit and then onwards. Spent the next day hanging out with Bonita and Thibaud. Did a little bit of suntanning aka trying to prematurely age my skin. Had a quiet dinner with John and then went to some lame party at Jimmyz. Being my typical self, I decided that the glam world of advertising doesn't really suit my PMSd condition, so I went to bed early. Rose early and jumped back in the Smart car Barcelona bound for another 6 hours. Invented some rather silly games to keep myself awake that consisted of me screaming at the top of my lungs every time a car from another country drove by. Went something along the lines of: German DEUTCHLAND! Netherlands There are two things that I can't stand. One) people that are intolerant of other people's cultures and two) the Dutch Italian Spaghetti, ravioli, fettuccini, parmesan Spanish Ole! Viva Espana! French Wee wee! Merci! See what I mean when I say that people in Smart cars are not necessarily smart? Well, at least it kept me awake long enough to make it back to Barcelona alive.

I used to have a little joke with my friend, Leslee Kurihara, that went along the lines of "Once you go happa, you can't stoppa". She was a little half breed of Japanese / European heritage like myself. Here are some other terms used to describe our mixed ethnic backgrounds (not all very politically correct). Hapa (or happa) A person with one Asian or Asian-American parent and one non-Asian parent Evolving from the Hawaiian pidgin term hapa-haole (literally "half-white"), the term had a mildly pejorative connotation at one time [and] has since become widely used, especially in Hawaii. While some commentators object to the term’s appropriation and perceived misuse outside of its original Hawaiian and colonialist contexts, "hapa" has increasingly entered the local languages and jargons of a variety of Asian ethnic groups both in Hawaii and on the mainland. Amerasian An American with one Asian or part-Asian parent and one non-Asian parent The definition of "Amerasian" has been in flux for many years now. In addition to the above definition, some authorities have reserved the term to describe those children born of Asian mothers (primarily Southeast Asian) and American fathers (usually servicemen)--in the spirit of the Amerasian Homecoming Act of 1987, allowing the transfer of Vietnamese-born, war era Amerasians to the United States. "Amerasian" also enjoyed fleeting use as a term for Americans of Asian ancestry--in lieu of "Oriental," for example. 1.5 Generation Immigrants and refugees born abroad but educated and socialized in the U.S. Young 1.5-ers are "a generation straddling two countries and two cultures" who "helped bridge the gap between the older generation(s)" and American-born Asian Americans. Banana "Yellow on the outside and white on the inside" A generally derogatory term, similar in usage to "Oreo" among African Americans. "Issei, Nisei, Sansei, Yonsei" "First, Second, Third, Fourth" - For the record, I am of the Sansei generation. From the Japanese root for the number one, "Issei" is the designation for immigrants to America -- significantly, it has throughout this century conveyed a sense of the first American generation, despite long-standing historical prohibitions on their naturalization. "Nisei" is a designation for the American citizen children born to Issei parents, and so on. While properly speaking, a new immigrant today could be conceived of as an Issei, the terms have come to be associated with specific characteristics of specific generations of Japanese Americans since the first major immigration waves in the late 1800s.

I have been a Beastie Boys fan since back in the day when Licensed to Ill came out. This was about the time that I became conscience of music and started to develop some taste. I remember that Graham and I used to run around the ranch blasting Beastie Boys and Run DMC going crazy for it. That was back in 1986 - I was 10. Odd thing is that now - 18 years later - I am still running around going crazy for the Beastie Boys. My love of Madonna has faded - as her talent has dwindled, but the Beastie Boys have remained as fresh as they were from day one. Their latest release is no different. The lyrics are probably going to be considered controversial and anti-American. "We got a President we didn't elect." But only stupid right-wing Bush loving bastards will point a finger in this direction. And props to the BBoys for being able to appeal to a younger audience than yours truly. Don't get me wrong, the whole album isn't motivated by their political causes. There are the typical humorous lyrics and phat beats that we have all become accustomed to. To the 5 Boroughs - Beastie Boys track listing and choice lyrics Ch-Check It Out Now, i go by the name of the king adrock I don't wear a cup nor a jock I bring the shit that's beyond bizarre Like miss piggy Who moi? Right Right Now Now I went to get a loan and they asked my race I wrote down human inside the space It's a disgrace how they try to debase It ain't the bank's damn business how my lineage trace 3 The Hard Way Your rhyme technique, it is antique To all my heads Qu'est-ce-que tu fabriques? Que cosa fai? Come sta e? Ho fato molte telefonate It Takes Time to Build So step up to the window and place your bets Is the US gonna keep breaking necks Maybe it's time that we impeach Tex And the military muscle that he wants to flex By the time Bush is done what will be left Selling votes like E-pills at the discotheque Environmental destruction and the national dept But plenty of dollars left in the fat war chest What the real deal why you can't connect Why you hating people that you never met Didn't your mama teach you to show some respect? Why not open your mind for a sec? It takes a second to wreck it It takes time to build You gots to chill Rhyme the Rhyme Well Now my name is Adrock I've got a story to tell When I rock the crowd the crowd we all yell And when I get the feeling I feel the feel swell And when I start to rhyme well I rhyme the rhyme well Triple Trouble Cause I'm a specializer, rhyme reviser Ain't selling out to advertisers What you get is what you see And you won't see me out there advertising See I like to party not drink Bacardi Hey F*?# You I read about you up on page 6 They was trashin' your ass it's sad you're getting dissed Now talk about your face now don't get pissed But I suggest you see a dermatologist Oh Word? That's It That's All All Lifestyles Shazam! An Open Letter to NYC Dear New York I know a lot has changed 2 towers down but you're still in the game Home to many rejecting know one Accepting peoples of all places, wherever they're from Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten From the Battery to the top of Manhattan Asian, Middle-Eastern and Latin Black, White, New York you make it happen Crawlspace No I'm not Herman Munster or Dr. Spock I go by the name of the King Adrock So here's a match my ass and your face Listen when I tell you dog; I'm in your crawl space The Brouhaha Just back from Japan and ooh I'm laggin' Goin' rao rao with the dungeon dragon You can dance if you want to leave your friends behind But if they don't dance and then they won't dance they can kiss my fuckin' ass We Got the Who got the chance to make things right? Why the politicians always want to fight? The Christian coalition and the right wing ooooh! Let me tell you what you can do Step outside the cone of silence Too much hatred and violence It's time to rewind We need a military decline Got the power of the mind focused Government like a locust Are we gone or just going? Time to act on what we be knowinh y'all

Fiona Garvey. Where do I even begin to write a tale about this little lass from the land of the leprechauns? Our friendship began three years ago when I was FOB (fresh off the boat) to Barcelona. She was the head of customer service at our workplace and I was the lowly production director. The second day after my arrival, Ms. Garvey was kind enough to invite me to meet her for a beverage along with her friend Patricia in Plaza del Sol. I politely accepted and joined them. Little did I realise that one drink was only the beginning of a marathon Fiona drinking session. Someone needed to remind me that our Irish mates like to and can drink heartily. The #1 rule is to never / never / I repeat / never attempt to keep up with them or, God forbid, outdrink them. I made this mistake (several times over the course of the years) and ended up vomiting on my shoe in my hotel bathroom. Yes...I said ON MY LOAFERS. A brief history of this girl that drinks me under the table every time...Fiona Mary was born the eldest child of seven to Sean and Catherine in Ballyhard, Glenamaddy, Galway, Earth, Universe. Her siblings consist of Patrick, Edel, Ailbhe, John, Elizabeth and baby Michael. Yes, they are good Catholics and no they are not from that "other" part of Ireland. Fiona spent a good part of her childhood peeling scabs of the younger members of the tribe and bullying them into submission (not much different than adulthood). She moved to Barcelona a few short years ago with her Belgian boyfriend, renamed by Catherine, Saint Tim. Saint Tim sees after all of Fiona's domestic needs as she is near worthless in the kitchen and prefers to spend her time in a bubble bath with a nice glass of white wine. To me Fiona is like my mother away from home. Whether it be giving advice about boys, yelling at me for being late to work, reminding me where not to get my hair cut, etc. etc. etc. the girl is a pillar of strength for me in my times of need. She is one of the best listeners I have ever met and the first one to remind me of my bad listening skills. Miss Garvey has a heavyweight heart of gold for her friends and family and will do almost anything for those that she loves. Fiona and I can fight like the best of them, sometimes reducing ourselves to childlike insults and slamming of doors. Despite these occasional outbursts, we have the amazing ability to forgive each other after about 4 1/2 minutes of silence and head out the door to McDonalds where everything is always happy. Fi and I share a love of (yes, you guessed it) drinking, bad tabloid news, hair removal, Susan Miller Astrologyzone, instant messenger and potatoes. Speaking of food... You have never met a weirder picky food person. The girl hates tomatoes, cucumbers, chicken with bones and most vegetables. She does, however, always jump at the chance to eat the pickles out of my hamburgers and never turns down chocolate ice cream (especially on hangover days). (SIDENOTE: I did get her to eat some goat in Amsterdam and she didn't even spit it out! She is certainly growing!) Other interesting factoids about our Fee...? She loves reading about true crime (ask her about any serial killer and she knows tons of facts), she hates decorating the house, she is a hypochondriac of epic proportions (hair loss, bugs, rashes, broken ankles, teeth falling out to name a few), she hates cats (except Roley), she loves watching movies and she loves to read all of my books that she has stolen from my house. So on this last day of her 29th birthday, I want to wish my friend - Fiona Garvey - a Happy Happy 30th and thank her for putting up with me. I am lucky to have met such a great person and think that anyone would be lucky to have this lass as a friend (as long as they don't try to outdrink her)!

Went to bbq party at the Real Club Maritime here in Barcelona yesterday evening. It was a private Red Bull Music Academy party that featured lots of free drinks, Red Bull and burned chicken that was raw in the middle. Greg crashed the party with me and we spent a good portion of the evening consuming vodka tonics and eating iced stawberries and cream. At some point amidst the beverages, we decided that to take our anti-social behaviour to a new level. OK, this wasn't my idea. This was his idea. Obviously too much sun... Greg made tiaras for us out of melons and straws. Then forced me to put it on my head. EWWW. Afterwards, we met up with Nigel, Pogo, Rudy, Sarah, Zusa and a plethora of Torontonians at El Foro to consume some disgusting beef and make bigger asses of ourselves.

Tuesday night Went to dinner and Nerd show. See previous post. Wednesday night Dinner with Greg and Bonita at Pla. Thursday night Dinner at Nigel's house with Pogo. Nigel fixed up some really nice sushi dinner for moi. Then the girls - Zusa and Sara - came over to fetch me. Went to the Danzatoria Anniversary party where we met up with Ariel and the Bunny Killer (BKBC). Had a few copas in the the VIP and then offwards to Ottozutz where Elfo let us in. Ran around the hip-hop room, the vip and the downstairs until it was time to go home. Friday Work work work. Golf lesson and some sunshine for lunch. Had plans to do several things for the evening... a) get fitted for fashion show on Tuesday night b) go to boat party for regatta c) go to Macarena for Nigel's night d) meet up with the boys for City Hall's inaguration of the new VIP. But what I actually ended up doing was going to sleep and not waking up until Saturday. I love sleep. Saturday Since I was a total loser on Friday night, I woke up quite early on Saturday morning. Spend the morning sorting out the house. By noon I was done and bored and the sun was shining and all of my friends had big hangovers so I found the nearest driving range, grabbed the clubs and left the casa. Went over to Badalona and hit some balls for a few hours. Ariel phoned so we met up to get some nice lunch at Sal Cafe and then to the beach to meet the recovering freaks. Ran into Nigel and Raquel at the beach so plopped it next to them... The sky turned very ominous about the time that Greg showed up. Ariel and I bailed the beach and drove over to see the Germans - Vincenzo, Pasquel, Mambo and more - at a BBQ. BBQs are not that much fun when there is a sudden rainstorm. Ate some sausages and left. Went to L'Hospitalet to do a quick 30 minute shopping sess because Arie needed some new jeans. He was a Gran Via virgin so it was funny to see his reaction at this weird spot. It is so similar to a US shopping mall that you get confused on your whereabouts. Complete with screaming children and freaks. Got home with 10 minutes to spare. Showered, changed and jumped in a taxi to pick up Greg. Fantastic dinner at Cinc Sentits (review later) with Fiona, Tim, Alex and Greg. Gorged ourselved for 4 hours of pure dining bliss before heading home to sleep at 2 AM. Turned off the phone and missed pool party in Tibidabo. Sunday Woke up early again. Went into town to meet up with Ariel - who did attend the pool party and still hadn't slept. Yep - 11 am and he was sitting in a cafe drinking a beer with his visiting friend from Argentina. Wandered around looking for some food and finally ate at lesbian restaurant in the Raval called Fortuny. Met up with Nigel and headed out to Castelldefels to escape the nasty beach crowd in Barcelona. Got about an hour of sunshine in before the rain kicked in. Went to Yelmo Icaria in time to catch "Capturing the Friedmans" - a documentary about child molesting freaks that made me wonder why the fuck I wasted €7 euros on it. Finally home where I spent the evening basking in my solitude watching a really good Spanish movies called "El otro lado de la cama". This week This week Sonar is in town which means a more hectic schedule than before. Tuesday - will be starring in fashion show for the girls, Wednesday - dinner with Greg at Hotel Arts, Thursday - Ornella arrives with Vittoria and I have opera tickets to see Tosca, Friday - golf lessons and Fiona's birthday, Saturday - Black tie event at the opera house, Sunday - sleep!

I was invited last minute to the NERD show here in Barcelona at Razzmatazz. What could be better than Nerdgirl being at a show with the kings of NERD boys?!? The show was a bit short - partially because we showed up a little bit late - and partially because it was a bit short. The little asian nerd, Chad, was nowhere to be seen, but that was more than allright because I got to stare lovingly across an auditorium of screaming girls in short skirts and high heels (who the fuck wears high heels to a show anyways?) at one sexy mothafucka - Pharrell Williams. Damn, I have to give that boy some props. He is the epitomy of all the little skater boys that I used to have crushes on when I was in Cali. With a 6 pack. And a diamond watch. The band was good despite the soundsystem in Razzmatazz sounding like a squeezed out fart. The crowd was a bit strange. The entire audience seemed to be fellow Americans with very few Spanish anywhere in sight. A highlight was Pharrell bringing girls up on stage and then creeping around them staring at their asses. Some girls took it like champs, others danced awkwardly like white girls and others looked like they might cry (either from his beauty or stagefright). Another event was Pharrell screaming "turn off the lights" - it took several attempts (perhaps he should have yelled in Spanish?) and then pulling out his mobile phone and waving it in the air. Ahh, technology. That is a true nerd. No more zippos and burned fingers to show your appreciation. Folks, you can now use the light from your mobile phone to give love to your favourite band!

I spent a nice long weekend in Marbella (the South of Spain for those geographically challenged Americans) with Arlie for her *cough*21st*cough* birthday celebrations. Had a nice hotel (which I will bitch about later) called the Hotel Fuerte Miramar Spa that is centrally located at the entrance to Marbella on the beach. Thursday night: Arrived and met Arlie in the airport. Checked into our hotel where we were given a romatic double bed to sleep in. Spanish double beds are by no means the king sized mongers that you get in other parts of the world. When they say double - they mean one and a half twin sized beds. In addition to our comfortable bed, we also were greeted with a matrimonial pillow, ie a pillow that lengthwise goes across the bed and is basically shared. Ahhh, just like the old married couple that we are... Rented "Mona Lisa Smiles" from the non-assortment of pay-per-view choices and proceeded to spend 2 hours being tortured by this bad take on "Dead Poet's Society" - minus the cute boys, Robin Williams humour, the suicide, etc... Friday: Rose early and headed straight for the beauty treatments. 10 am - haircut for me, mud wrap for Haft, 11 am - massage, 12 noon manicure, 1 pm pedicure. It is exhausting spending your day getting beauty treatments. I was beginning to feel a little bit like Mariah Carrey and understood why she might go a little nuts. Honestly, I was bored by the 3rd hour and wanted to call is quits, yet I somehow endured the entirety of the hectic schedule. Post beauty bar headed out poolside to meet the marathon tanner, Arlie. Spent a nice afternoon doing absolutely nothing. Around 5 we decided (or I decided) to go to Puerto Banus to do a little bit of shopping on the Med. Bought some fab shoes, hairgel (to somehow fix my bad haircut), and various other little nicknacks. Friday evening: Reserved a table at Taro Guadalpin which was reputed to be the best sushi joint in town. Arrived at 21.30 to the glacial room temperature at the bar. Honestly, my hands were turning blue, which isn't that much of a shocker for anyone that knows me. Solved this problem quickly by submerging our numbed bodies with a bottle of Enrique Mendoza 1999 Pinot Noir and ordering the degustation menu which included starters, sashimi, sushi, fried things, miso soup and dessert. Sounded like a lot less hassle than translating a badly translated menu. Turned out to be a lot more food that I had anticipated. Filled up by miso soup and then politely turned down the rest of the food and rather opted for a vodka tonic and cigarette. Afterwards, hightailed it to a club called Tivo where we were flying solo. Literally, there were 10 people in the club the entire night. This did not stop us from drinking shots of tequila and traditional copas de cavas and continue on to kissing the taxi driver, Paco. Arriving home at 4 am, the hotel staff was none too pleased to see us (rather, me) drag my tired and hungry ass through the doors begging for some food from room service which closed 4 hours prior. Despite their lack of enthusiasm for my late night snacking habits we did receive a knock on the door 10 minutes later from a willing young bellboy toting a ham and cheese sandwich (bikini). I'm sure he was thrilled to be greeted via me in my Kermit the Frog underwear a bit tipsy on cava. Sweet...! Saturday: Slept in and then headed poolside. Met up with BC Stu around 4 and had a scrumptious seaside Italian meal. Boat party was beginning at 19.30 so dressed quickly and taxied to "a big statue" near Puerto Banus where we were met by many fun-loving British living in Marbella folk on their way to the same boat. Boarded and we were off for a sunset tour of the port and beyond listening to the soulful stylings of our very own BCS (BC Stu). Other friends along for the ride included La Cuenta (BCS's bruva), Stan (whose name has been revealed as Marvin), Dennison (remember from Carnival?), and from London - Spot (due to the large spot on his head). The boat was rocking and the vodkas were flowing. Spent the next 6 hours dancing and trying to avoid the plethora of dedicated followers from a) stealing my shoes b) untying my pink ribbon c) licking my face d) all of the above. Finished the night up in Dreamers where Arlie had the honor of paying 11� for a bottle of water. Viva Dreamers!!! Sunday: Slept in. Rose and headed poolside. I sense a reocurring theme going on here.... Anyways, I had at this point given up the usage of sunscreen - opting for a more daring route to savage tan-dom - going full on fuck-it, bring on the skin cancer style. Had a nice lunch of paella and sangria (when in Spain...) and read the Sunday Times, Hello Magazine (Becks and Posh 5 year anniversary edition) and a trashy Spanish tab called Que me dices! Slept for a while on the beach then went poolside - yet again. Had dinner in a great Thai place that was conveniently located next to Dreamers then back to the hotel where I had time to stew over the fact that the maid - Isabel - had vacuumed up my diamond Tiffany earring. Fell asleep by midnight. Monday: Slept till 10 then headed - yes, that is right folks - poolside. Had 2 more hours to perfect my sunscreenless tan before going to the airport. I think I managed rather well... No burn! OK, I am sort of Pocohantas looking now, but such is life. Had a very interesting trip to the airport with an insane taxi driver that was insisting that someone (namely Arlie or I) roll him a joint while he put on a George Michael CD and declared that he dedicated the song "Amazing" to us. Amazing ending to an amazing trip! All in all a good, relaxing trip and a nice time hanging out with Arlie Hafters. Till next time...