i miss danny

is it ok for me to say that now?

One year ago today I went to the De La Soul show in Barcelona. We started off at my house with Alex, Sarah, Giles (in his hip hop outfit), Danny and Darby and headed off. We had the best time that night. Everyone was in a crazy mood. All of our other Barcelona friends happened to be there as well…

Tonight I went to a Foo Fighters show here in London at Earl’s Court. And in the middle of the show my mind wandered back to a year ago. And I started to think about Danny. This happens to me sometimes – actually quite a bit. I think about how much I miss his smile. And how much fun we had together. Our “slunches” (that means slut+lunches) that we would spend hours every day drinking and recapping our latest adventures. How he took care of me when I was a sicky with sore, fat fingers. How much he loved that slobbering mutt dog of his.

Just flashes of Danny come into my mind. And thoughts of how much I am enjoying this show. And how much I would love to tell him that. And knowing that his reaction would be something like “Dude, that is so cool.” And thinking – FUCK, I can’t tell him that. I can’t tell him anything – ever again.

And that sucks.

Because I miss my friend Danny. So much. I think about him every day. And it hurts. And I know that everyone who knew him feels the same way…

And there really is no cure for that kind of broken heart.

a letter to danny