Laying your place setting for a dinner party is the topic this time for my little etiquette column. I remember my mother and Grandmother Ginger teaching me the proper way to lay a table for dinner or holidays.

I still try with my lack of a full silverware set to lay a table that is suitable for dinner. Honestly, it is a bit annoying when you have to lick your fork after the first course and then continue to eat with it for the main course. Even for a semi-informal meal, you should have enough courtesy to spare your guests from participating in something so foul.

A proper place setting should always have a balanced look and be equal distant from its neighbouring plates - and in line with the centrepiece. Just think of the movie Gosford Park when the butlers are measuring each setting and you’ll get an idea of what I am talking about. I also promise that I am not this anal…well, I don’t own a ruler anyways so this task might be difficult for me to pull off. If you are using table mats, they should be parallel and about an inch away from the edge of the table. The design should face the diner.

Silverware should be arranged on either side of the mat. It should be placed in the order that it will be used, with the first course implements to the outer edge. Forks are always placed on the left and knives and spoons on the right. Knives should sit with their blades facing inwards and forks with the prongs up. Bread knives should no be placed on the side plate.

As for how many courses of silverware you should lay out, it depends on how many courses you are serving. If you have 3-4 courses then you can probably get away with putting it all out through the dessert.

Also, don’t put your dessert spoon and cheese knife above the placemat.

Now - the big quiz. What is wrong in this picture from what I have just taught you? No wonder Martha Stewart had to go to prison. Her website is wrong and she sucks. Down with Martha!

What is wrong with this picture?