Fiona Garvey. Where do I even begin to write a tale about this little lass from the land of the leprechauns? Our friendship began three years ago when I was FOB (fresh off the boat) to Barcelona. She was the head of customer service at our workplace and I was the lowly production director. The second day after my arrival, Ms. Garvey was kind enough to invite me to meet her for a beverage along with her friend Patricia in Plaza del Sol. I politely accepted and joined them. Little did I realise that one drink was only the beginning of a marathon Fiona drinking session. Someone needed to remind me that our Irish mates like to and can drink heartily. The #1 rule is to never / never / I repeat / never attempt to keep up with them or, God forbid, outdrink them. I made this mistake (several times over the course of the years) and ended up vomiting on my shoe in my hotel bathroom. Yes…I said ON MY LOAFERS.

miss garvey

A brief history of this girl that drinks me under the table every time…Fiona Mary was born the eldest child of seven to Sean and Catherine in Ballyhard, Glenamaddy, Galway, Earth, Universe. Her siblings consist of Patrick, Edel, Ailbhe, John, Elizabeth and baby Michael. Yes, they are good Catholics and no they are not from that “other” part of Ireland. Fiona spent a good part of her childhood peeling scabs of the younger members of the tribe and bullying them into submission (not much different than adulthood). She moved to Barcelona a few short years ago with her Belgian boyfriend, renamed by Catherine, Saint Tim. Saint Tim sees after all of Fiona’s domestic needs as she is near worthless in the kitchen and prefers to spend her time in a bubble bath with a nice glass of white wine.

To me Fiona is like my mother away from home. Whether it be giving advice about boys, yelling at me for being late to work, reminding me where not to get my hair cut, etc. etc. etc. the girl is a pillar of strength for me in my times of need. She is one of the best listeners I have ever met and the first one to remind me of my bad listening skills. Miss Garvey has a heavyweight heart of gold for her friends and family and will do almost anything for those that she loves.

Fiona and I can fight like the best of them, sometimes reducing ourselves to childlike insults and slamming of doors. Despite these occasional outbursts, we have the amazing ability to forgive each other after about 4 1/2 minutes of silence and head out the door to McDonalds where everything is always happy.

Fi and I share a love of (yes, you guessed it) drinking, bad tabloid news, hair removal, Susan Miller Astrologyzone, instant messenger and potatoes. Speaking of food… You have never met a weirder picky food person. The girl hates tomatoes, cucumbers, chicken with bones and most vegetables. She does, however, always jump at the chance to eat the pickles out of my hamburgers and never turns down chocolate ice cream (especially on hangover days). (SIDENOTE: I did get her to eat some goat in Amsterdam and she didn’t even spit it out! She is certainly growing!)

Other interesting factoids about our Fee…? She loves reading about true crime (ask her about any serial killer and she knows tons of facts), she hates decorating the house, she is a hypochondriac of epic proportions (hair loss, bugs, rashes, broken ankles, teeth falling out to name a few), she hates cats (except Roley), she loves watching movies and she loves to read all of my books that she has stolen from my house.

So on this last day of her 29th birthday, I want to wish my friend - Fiona Garvey - a Happy Happy 30th and thank her for putting up with me. I am lucky to have met such a great person and think that anyone would be lucky to have this lass as a friend (as long as they don’t try to outdrink her)!

Other adventures featuring Fiona Garvey