i am massively in need of a holiday. i need to get away from the craziness of my life. i need to hide from everyone and everything. i need to take my 20 books that i haven’t read and sit on the beach somewhere. i need a virgin pina colada. i need a lambburger from barbados. i need to sleep all day on a lounge chair, only waking to swim when my skin feels like it is going to boil off. i need to be out of this cold weather. i need for my head to be right. i need all of these things and more. but what am i left with?

cold hands. cold heart.