the world’s worst dj award goes to DAVID HOLMES. he officially sucks ass. this past weekend, i went to a private party hosted by lynx in ibiza. the stereo mc’s were on first and were quite fantastic - even if i have never been a big fan. next was david holmes on the decks. i am not too familiar with mr. holmes’ work - although it has been brought to my attention that he most recently did the soundtrack for ocean’s eleven. with this said, i usually have a pretty open mind about music (except techno).

the first record that david threw on with a little sound byte - whatever. then on to a funky soul bit. which is fair enough, i can dig some funk and soul mixed in with any set. but it didn’t stop - it continued - on and on - EVERY SONG WAS BASICALLY THE SAME. there was no mixing to be had anywhere near his turntables. in fact, at one point, i think he fell asleep because he had about a 15 second gap where the record ended then there was some fumbling and you actually heard him throw on the next one. don’t get me wrong - i understand this might have been on purpose. but i truly believe that he fell asleep…

needless to say, i wasn’t the only one who thought he was awful. the entire crowd stood around for 2 1/2 hours while he did nothing but entertain himself and smoke cigarettes. in between songs (as i said, he doesn’t even attempt to mix), people actually booed him. pathetic. it was like watching someone who has eaten too many mushrooms in his life and he is the only one laughing at the joke. it wasn’t deep, it was just boring.

i am told that he was paid $30k for the gig and also managed to have 10 friends come over for a week’s holiday. all i can say is - he may suck as a dj, but he suckered the people paying him. his attitude was shit and his music was shittier. i think he might do better to stick to producing soundtracks and save my ears from the sheer crapiness of his djing non-abilities.